After All
by xxLittle Black Dressxx
Summary: Derek and Meredith go to City Hall to legalize their marriage…but there's just one small problem.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hi everyone! Addison and Derek aren't the couple that I usually write about, but I seem to be developing a soft spot for them. This story is set towards the end of the seventh season of Grey's Anatomy and the end of the fourth season of Private Practice. I hope you enjoy it, and I'd love to hear what you think! Thanks so much for reading! :)

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><p><em><strong>After All<strong>_

"Are you ready for this, Mer?" Derek asked excitedly, as he and Meredith stood in City Hall, prepared to legalize their post-it marriage.

"I am," Meredith smiled. "It's about time we made things official."

"Drs. Derek Shepherd and Meredith Grey," a woman, whose nametag read 'Lucy,' called out from behind a desk. "We're ready for you."

"This is it," Derek smiled, squeezing Meredith's hand, as they made their way up to Lucy's desk.

"Okay," Lucy said, "I just need to see your paperwork to make sure that everything checks out before I send you over to the judge."

Derek and Meredith nodded, handing Lucy the necessary information.

"Okay, everything looks good, Dr. Grey," Lucy said, as her eyes scanned over Meredith's paperwork. "Now, let's see, Dr. Shepherd…okay, everything looks…oh, wait a minute," Lucy interrupted herself, her eyes widening in disbelief. "I'm sorry, Dr. Shepherd," she apologized, "but I cannot authorize your marriage today."

"What?" Derek asked in surprise. "Why not? My paperwork is perfect. Why can't we get married today?"

Lucy looked at him in amusement. "I'm sorry," she apologized again, "but the reason you two can't get married today, Mr. Shepherd, is-"

"Dr. Shepherd," Derek interrupted. "It's Dr. Shepherd."

"Dr. Shepherd," Lucy amended. "The reason you and Dr. Grey can't get married today is because, well, you're already married."

"I'm what?" Derek gasped, gripping onto the side of Lucy's desk to stop himself from collapsing.

"You're what?" Meredith shrieked. "This is like a bad case of déjà vu. Derek Shepherd, you have some serious explaining to do"

Derek turned his attention to Meredith, and then back to Lucy. "I'm sorry," he said, loosening his grip on her desk, "but I must have just misheard you…because if you just said what I think you just said, well then-"

"You're already married," Lucy repeated slowly, as Derek felt a fresh wave of dizziness wash over him.

"Married?" he choked out.

"Who the hell are you married to, Derek?" Meredith demanded angrily.

"I have no idea," Derek admitted, still feeling light headed. "I came here with the intention of marrying you. There's clearly some kind of mistake; some kind of identity theft or something."

"Oh, no, there's no mistake," Lucy insisted. "You, Derek Christopher Shepherd are still very much married."

"To who?" Derek demanded, angrily jamming his hands on his hips.

"Now, Dr. Shepherd," Lucy rebuked, "I don't appreciate you using that tone of voice with me. After all, I'm just doing my job."

"Right, fine, I'm sorry," Derek apologized.

"He really is," Meredith added. "This is all just very, um, uh…unexpected. So, Lucy, can you please tell us who Derek is married to so that we can fix this?

Lucy nodded. "Well, it says right here that you, Dr. Derek Christopher Shepherd, are still married to Dr. Addison Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd."

"Addison?" Derek and Meredith exclaimed together.

"Oh, good, you know her," Lucy said.

"She's my ex-wife," Derek told her.

"Well, not according to these papers," Lucy chuckled.

"But we got divorced nearly four years ago," Derek insisted.

"It looks like you _tried_ to get divorced," Lucy explained, "but look," she said, showing Derek the divorce papers. "You and Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd signed on the wrong lines; you signed where she should have signed, and she signed where you should have signed. This makes your divorce null and void. You two are still married."

"You have got to be kidding me!" Meredith exclaimed. "Addison Montgomery has a special talent for making my life miserable."

"Her legal name is actually Addison Montgomery-Shepherd," Lucy reminded Meredith with a grin.

"Right, whatever," Meredith muttered. Then turning her attention to Derek, she asked in annoyance, "You mean to tell me that the whole time that we've been dating, you've _still _been married to Addison? Hell, we had a post-it marriage while you were still married! How could you do this to me, Derek – _again_?"

"Look, Mer, I had no idea that Addison and I were still married. I'm sure there's an easy way to fix this." Derek turned his attention to Lucy. "Please tell me there's any easy way to fix this," he begged.

Lucy nodded. "It's pretty simple," she told Derek. "You and your wife-"

"Ex-wife," Derek interrupted.

"Not according to these," Lucy said smugly, gesturing towards Derek's divorce papers. "Anyway, do you want my help or not?"

"Sorry, go on, Lucy."

Lucy smiled. "You and your wife need to meet with your lawyers and _correctly_ fill out your divorce contract."

"And then we're good?" Derek asked.

"Then you're good," Lucy grinned.

"You hear that, Mer?" Derek asked. "We're good."

"Oh we are not good, Derek," Meredith responded angrily. "We are anything but good."

xxxxx

Twenty-four hours later, Derek was standing at the front door of Addison's beach house. Meredith refused to have anything to do with him until he got divorced from Addison – for real. He had no idea how to tell Addison what he was about to tell her, but he figured that he at least owed it to her to break the news in person. He had no idea how Addison was going to react when he told her that they were still married – she'd probably be angry and upset and surprised – so he promised himself that he'd break the news to her as gently as he could. He took a deep breath, straightened his shoulders, and rang the doorbell.

"Derek," Addison said in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"Um, well, the thing is, um, we need to talk, Addison."

Addison nodded. "Okay, but can we maybe talk later? Now's actually not a good time."

"Trust me, Addison; there will never be a good time to have the conversation that we're about to have, so I just need to rip the Band-Aid off now. Your living room's this way, right?" he asked, as began making his way through her house.

"Yeah, but Derek, can't we just talk right here?"

"We need somewhere with a couch," Derek insisted, as he entered the living room. But, to his surprise, the couch was already occupied. Sam Bennett was lounging on Addison's couch, as if he owned the place.

"Derek," Sam grinned, rising from the couch. "It's good to see you."

Derek had no idea why, but he felt a wave of anger and jealousy wash over him and, suddenly, his plans of gently breaking the news to Addison went out the window.

"So," Derek smirked, reaching out to shake Sam's extended hand, "you must be the man who's been sleeping with my wife."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you so much for all of the feedback on this story! I really appreciate it! Here's the next chapter. I hope you like it! Thanks so much for reading! :)

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><p>"<em>So," Derek smirked, reaching out to shake Sam's extended hand, "you must be the man who's been sleeping with my wife."<em>

"Ex-wife," Addison corrected him. "And who I sleep with really isn't your concern anymore, Derek."

"Except it is – because, technically, you're still my wife. You see, according to these divorce papers, we're still married."

"We're still what?" Addison choked out in surprise, gripping onto Derek's arm to stop herself from collapsing.

"Whoa; you okay?" Derek asked Addison in concern. She was clutching him so hard that he could feel her nails digging into his skin and, suddenly, he felt bad about breaking the news to her so insensitively. "How about we sit down on the couch?" he offered, leading Addison over to the couch, and helping her sit down. "Do you want some water? Or maybe wine? Or we could have both…just tell me what you want."

"I want you to explain to me how we could still possibly be married," Addison said shakily.

"Let's get some wine in you first," Derek suggested, as he attempted to loosen Addison's grip on his forearm. She wasn't letting go any time soon. "Hey, Sam," Derek called out to his friend, who was still standing there awkwardly, observing the scene before him in utter shock. "Would you mind going into the kitchen and getting a couple bottles of water and a bottle of wine?" Derek turned his attention to Addison. "You still like cabernet best?" he asked gently.

She nodded in response.

"Sure," Sam agreed, disappearing into the kitchen, and quickly returning with three bottles of water and a bottle of cabernet.

"Thanks," Derek smiled. "Hey, uh, Sam, I know that this kind of involves you too, but I'd really like to talk to Addison alone for while, so if you don't mind-"

"No, I get it," Sam nodded. "But, Addie, I'm right next door if you need anything, okay?"

Addison nodded weakly, and Derek couldn't stop himself from flinching as Sam ran his hand through Addison's hair before making his way out of her house.

"Sam lives next door?" Derek asked, feeling a flash of jealousy rise up in him again.

"Did you seriously just ask me where Sam lives?" Addison asked, her eyes widening in disbelief. "You just told me that we're still married, and you want to talk about where Sam lives?"

Derek chuckled. "Okay, okay, point taken," he surrendered. "So, are you feeling any better?"

Addison nodded. "The wine helps. It's just, I'm confused. I mean, how can we still be married? I thought that you and Meredith were married."

"Meredith and I are post-it married," Derek explained, "so-"

"Post-it married?" Addison interrupted. "Is that some type Seattle Grace terminology, like McDreamy or McSteamy? You know…words that don't make sense outside of Seattle Grace?"

"We got married on a post-it," Derek supplied. "So, technically, it's not official, but we consider ourselves married.

"Okay, so wait, how did you find out that _we_ were still married?" Addison asked, confusion lacing her features.

"Meredith and I were at City Hall," Derek explained. "We both had the day off, and we decided that it was finally time to legalize our marriage, but when the clerk, Lucy – this pain in the ass of a woman – looked over my paperwork, she spotted a mistake on our divorce papers."

"How could there be a mistake on our divorce papers?" Addison asked in surprise. "Those things are idiot proof. You sign on your line, I sign on my line and, kaboom, we're divorced."

"You might want to take back those words," Derek chuckled. "Here, check this out," he said, showing her his copy of their divorce papers.

Addison's eyes widened in astonishment; "You signed on my line," she accused.

"Um, I hate to point out the obvious here, Addie, but you signed on my line as well."

"How could nobody have caught this?" Addison asked. "I mean, you and me, we're two highly educated…overeducated doctors…and our lawyers, our five hundred dollar an hour lawyers…they didn't notice this either?"

Derek shrugged. "I guess not."

"Do you remember who signed first?" Addison asked. "Because I honestly can't remember."

"I don't remember," Derek admitted. "And, honestly, Addie, I don't think that's the most productive conversation for us to be having either. I mean, we both messed up…kind of like our marriage."

Addison nodded. "I guess you're right. So, um, how do we fix this?"

"We need to meet with our lawyers, draw up the papers again, and sign them – in the correct spaces," Derek explained.

"Well, that sounds easy enough," Addison said. "So easy that you really didn't have to come out here for this; why did you come out here, Derek?"

Derek shrugged. "I figured I at least owed it to you to tell you that we were still married in person."

"Well, thank you for that," Addison chuckled. "So, was Meredith mad when she found out about us?"

"She's refusing to talk to me until I fix this whole thing. I'd say mad is the understatement of the year.

"I mean, you can't really blame her," Addison smirked. "This isn't exactly the first time you've done this to her."

"The first time was a mistake," Derek admitted. "And this time…well, Meredith knows I love her. And get off your high horse, Addison; it's not like you haven't had your own parade over dirty mistresses over the past few years."

"I didn't know we were still married," Addison pointed out. "You can't hold that against me."

"Oh, yeah, so what was your excuse with Mark, back in New York? Because I'm pretty sure you knew we were married then." Derek shot back.

"Way to reopen old scars, Derek," Addison snapped. "But two can play at this game; what was your excuse with Meredith at the prom?"

"What was your excuse with Sam?"

"Excuse me?" Addison asked in surprise. "I didn't know that you and I were still married when Sam and I got together."

"Yeah, but you knew that he's Naomi's ex-husband, Addison." Derek accused, rolling his eyes. "I mean, doesn't you being with Sam violate some type of unspoken friendship code?"

"Derek," Addison cut in angrily.

"I mean, are there really so few men out here that you had to resort to dating your best friend's ex-husband? That could be a new low, even for you."

"It wasn't like that, Derek," Addison protested. "Sam and I, we tried-"

"Oh, but, wait," Derek interrupted with a smirk. "Look who I'm talking to…rules about dating and friendship…they don't really apply to you, do they, Addison?"

"You know what, Derek…just shut up, and get the hell out of my house! I'll send you the divorce papers. Just get out of my house!"

"Sorry, Addie," Derek smirked, smiling sweetly, "but I'm not leaving."

"Derek, I'm not joking," Addison warned.

"Neither am I," Derek replied. "We're still married, so according to these papers, this is my house too. And I'm not leaving."

"You know what, fine, I'll leave then," Addison snapped, getting up off the couch and heading out the back door, slamming it hard behind her.

Derek watched her retreating form for a moment, before deciding to go after her. "Addison, wait," he called out as he jogged to catch up with her.

"What do you want?" she demanded, turning around to face him. "I thought you came out here to get divorced from me, not to tell me what a horrible person I am because, trust me, Derek, I already torture myself enough. I don't need to hear from you too, okay?"

"Look, I'm sorry, Addison," Derek apologized. "I don't think you're a horrible person, and I shouldn't have said anything about Mark or Sam. It was out of line. It's just…it's weird seeing you and Sam together."

"Well, it was weird for me to see you and Meredith together, but I got past it, so I suggest you do the same."

"Hey, I'm post-it married," Derek defended. "If you want to date Sam, date Sam. It's your life Addie; screw it up however you please."

"So now I'm screwing up my life by dating Sam?" Addison shot back angrily.

"I didn't say that, Addison."

"Yeah, but you implied it, Derek."

"Look," Derek sighed, "I was just thinking about Naomi. I know that you two were really close, and it's just…well, it's just hard to imagine that you guys could still be close after something like this."

Addison didn't say anything; she just stared at Derek sadly.

"I hit the nail on the head, didn't I?" he asked quietly.

Addison still didn't answer him.

"Come on, Addie, we were married for eleven years. You can talk to me."

A slight smile began to form on Addison's face. "Technically, we've been married a lot longer than eleven years," she corrected him. She sighed heavily. "And it's just, you're right, I hurt Naomi. And she can say that she's okay with me, and she can say that she's okay with Sam, but what we did, what we did to her…there's no coming back from that."

Derek nodded in understanding. "You know, Mark and I are okay with each other now. It might just take some time," he said, doing his best to comfort her.

"Maybe," Addison said, unconvinced. "But, anyway, I don't want to talk about it. Let's go back to my place-"

"You mean, our place," Derek interrupted.

"_My_ place," Addison repeated. "Let's go back to my place, and call our lawyers."

xxxxx

"Okay, put it on speaker phone so I can hear," Addison instructed, as Derek dialed his lawyer's phone number. "Pick up," Addison begged, as the phone started to ring. "Please pick up."

"I'm probably going to have to leave a message," Derek said, as the phone continued to ring, unanswered.

"Hello, you've reached the voicemail of Tobias Banks. I'll be out of the office this week, and will not be checking my voicemail or e-mails regularly, so please leave me a message and I will return your call next week when I return to the office. Thank you, and have a great day."

"Next week?" Addison exclaimed. "What are we supposed to do until then?"

"He always did take a lot of vacations," Derek mused.

"So what are we supposed to do now?" Addison asked.

"Well, you can start by showing me to a guestroom," Derek smirked. "It looks like I'm spending the week in my California beach house."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thank you so much for your feedback on the last chapter! I love hearing what you think! I hope you like the next chapter (I had planned to have an office scene in it and, then, after reading your reviews, I decided to expand the scene even further). Thanks so much for reading! :)

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><p>When Addison woke up the next morning, Derek was gone. The bed that he had slept in was perfectly made, and there was no evidence that he had ever been there.<p>

"Derek?" Addison called out, as she searched for him throughout the house, but she got no response. "Okay, was this some kind of weird dream or something?" she asked herself aloud. It all seemed so vivid.

She made her way into the living room, and caught sight of an empty bottle of wine on the coffee table. "If Derek wasn't here that means I drank an entire bottle of wine by myself last night," she muttered to herself. She had to admit, it made sense – who wouldn't start hallucinating about ex-husbands after drinking a whole bottle of wine? She decided that the whole thing had to have been some kind of wine induced hallucination. "Okay, I'm never drinking again," she resolved aloud, before making her way to her bedroom to get dressed for the day.

xxxxx

"Hi, Addison," Violet greeted her friend and colleague, as Addison stepped off the elevator. "How are you?"

"I'm never drinking again," Addison announced matter-of-factly.

"Okay, we both know that's not happening," Violet smirked.

"I'm serious," Addison insisted, as she and Violet made their way into the practice's kitchen.

"Good morning," Cooper smiled, looking up from his cereal, to greet Addison and Violet. "What's on the agenda for today?"

"Addison's never drinking again," Violet informed Cooper smugly, as she poured herself a cup of coffee.

"Don't make fun," Addison told her friends, as she began rummaging through the office refrigerator. "You wouldn't drink again either if you had the kind of night that I had last night."

Cooper and Violet exchanged a smirk behind Addison's back.

"Hey, Cooper," Addison said, turning to face her colleague. "Did you drink my green juice? I could have sworn I had some here yesterday and, now, today, I can't find it."

"Are you kidding me?" Cooper laughed. "I wouldn't go near that stuff. I'd rather drink gasoline."

"Hmm," Addison said, turning her attention back to the contents of the refrigerator.

"And here we are, back in the kitchen," Addison heard Pete's voice ring out, as she continued to search for her juice. "I hope you enjoyed the tour."

Addison quickly turned to face Pete; who in the world was he giving a tour of the practice to? Her eyes widened in shock as she saw Pete standing next to none other than Derek, who was smiling widely, holding a glass of green juice in his hand.

"That's my green juice," Addison accused angrily. "And what are you doing here?"

"Well, good morning to you too, Addison," Derek teased. "I slept well last night. Thank you for asking."

Addison glared at him. "What are you doing here, Derek?"

Derek shrugged. "I just thought I'd check out the practice. According to Violet, we recently bought it."

"_I_ recently bought it," Addison corrected him.

"Well, it's ours until next week," he reminded her.

"Wait, hold on," Cooper cut in, temporarily stopping the argument between Derek and Addison. "Who are you?" he asked Derek. "And what do you mean you bought the practice?"

Derek grinned widely and extended his hand to Cooper. "Derek Shepherd," he smiled. "Addison's husband."

Cooper's eyebrows shot up in surprise, as he looked from Derek to Addison in disbelief. "You're married?" he asked Addison in shock.

"I, um, I," Addison stammered.

"Not a hard question, Addison," Derek smirked.

Addison rolled her eyes at Derek, and then turned her attention to Cooper. "Yes, Cooper, technically I'm still married."

"But you're dating Sam," Cooper exclaimed, his eyes widening in disbelief.

"I know," Addison nodded. "And Derek is married to someone else."

"Okay," Cooper breathed. "I am thoroughly confused. And part of me doesn't want to know more because the more I find out the more messed up this whole thing becomes. But, then again, this is like a car wreck, you know, you can't look away, so-"

"The whole situation is long and messed up and confusing," Addison interrupted. "But, long story short, there was a mistake on our divorce papers and so, technically, Derek and I are still married, but we're fixing it. We'll be divorced by the end of the week."

"But I do plan on spending the week getting to know all of you," Derek smiled at Cooper, Violet, and Pete. "After all, this is _our_ practice."

"That really won't be necessary, Derek," Addison insisted.

"Of course it's necessary," Derek grinned. "What kind of practice owner would I be…what kind of husband would I be if I didn't take the time to get to know our friends and colleagues?"

"They're _my _friends and colleagues," Addison insisted. "You have your own back in Seattle."

"We don't have to settle this now," Derek reasoned. "This juice is really good, by the way," he smirked, taking a long sip of his green juice. "Very L.A."

Addison rolled her eyes at him. "You owe me green juice, Derek."

Derek grinned. "Sure. Just tell me where to get it. I have to run out soon anyway; I thought I'd cater in lunch for the practice."

"Hey, thanks, man," Cooper smiled, patting Derek on the back. "Hey, Addie, I like this guy."

"Attractive _and_ nice," Violet approved. "I could get used to having him around."

Addison looked at her coworkers angrily. "Traitors," she accused.

"Well, I've gotta run," Derek smiled. "I figure I might as well get some sight-seeing in while I'm here. Anyone want to come?"

"We have to work, Derek," Addison reminded him. "We're not here on vacation; we have jobs."

"Hey, I'm here on business," Derek defended. "Oh, Addie, since you're going to be here all day, would you mind giving me the key to the house? You know, just in case I need to get some of my stuff."

"I thought you decided to stay in a hotel or something," Addison responded. "I mean, I didn't see any of your things lying around this morning."

"I unpacked them," Derek explained.

"You unpacked your things, Derek?" Addison asked in disbelief.

"Sure, why not? I'm here for the week; I might as well be comfortable in my house. So, is that a no on the key?"

"It's a no," Addison told him. "And it's not your house."

Derek shrugged. "Okay. Well, I'll see you all a little later. It was great meeting you, everyone."

"Nice meeting you too, Derek," Violet smiled. "And don't forget about tonight."

"What's happening tonight?" Addison asked warily.

"Violet invited me to hang out with all of you tonight," Derek explained.

Addison shot Violet an angry look. "We're supposed to be hanging out at my place; you invited him to my house?" she hissed.

Violet shrugged. "He's gonna be there anyway. And how could I not invite him? He owns the practice."

Addison was about to object, but Derek cut in before she could say anything.

"I'll be there," he promised with a smile. "And I'm looking forward to it."

xxxxx

"I thought you said you were never drinking again," Violet teased, as Addison poured herself another glass of wine.

"Yeah, well, that was before I found out that you invited my ex-husband to hang out with us," Addison shot back.

"First of all, he's still your husband…at least until next week. And secondly, I don't think tonight's a total disaster." She pointed across the room to where Derek was laughing with Charlotte and Cooper. "I hate to break it to you, Addie, but he blends right in with us. Plus he's so…so, um-"

"Whatever you do, do not call him 'dreamy,'" Addison warned.

"I was going to say gorgeous," Violet laughed. "Twelve-year-old girls say dreamy; I'm not a twelve-year-old girl."

"I'll drink to that," Addison chuckled, lightly tapping her wine glass against Violet's.

"Oh, hey, Derek's coming over here," Violet said quickly. "I think this is my cue to leave."

"Don't even think about it," Addison warned, as Derek came closer.

"Hey," Derek smiled. "This is a lot of fun. Thanks for inviting me, Violet. It's exactly what I needed after these last couple of crazy days."

Violet smiled. "No problem, Derek. You're welcome here anytime."

Addison glared at her friend.

Violet shrugged. "Sorry," she whispered. "It's his smile; it makes me say crazy things."

Derek chuckled. "Well, I ought-"

But he was cut off by the ringing of his cell phone. "Excuse me," he apologized, as he took his phone out of his pocket. He looked at the number and frowned.

"Aren't you going to get that?" Addison asked. The room had suddenly grown very quiet.

"No, it's just my mother," Derek responded. "I know what she wants."

"Derek, you should answer the phone," Addison insisted. "Your mother's getting older; what if something's not okay?"

"I'm telling you, she's fine," Derek assured her. "But if it means so much to you, I'll answer the phone."

"Thank you," Addison smiled.

"Hi, Mom," Derek answered into the phone.

"Yes, I know what day tomorrow is," he responded curtly, as Addison paled a little.

"Mom, we go over this every year; I don't want to talk about it, okay – especially not now… No, everything with Meredith is fine…You want to speak to her, um, well, you can't; she's not here…Look, I've gotta go, Mom, but I'm sure you'll call again tomorrow, just like you do every year, so I guess I'll talk to you then…Okay, I love you too. Bye, Mom."

"Sorry," Derek apologized, as he put his phone back into his pocket.

No one said anything; they just stared at Derek, waiting for him to say something. He didn't say anything – just hung his head and sighed exasperatedly.

"What did Mom want?" Amelia asked from the couch, where she was sitting with Sheldon. "The usual?"

Derek nodded. "Look, um, I think I'm just going to step outside for a second," he said uncomfortably. "You know, get some air."

Everyone watched his retreating form. "Addie, you should go after him," Amelia advised. "Just to make sure he's alright."

Addison nodded, grabbed a bottle of scotch, and made her way out to the beach.

Once she had left, everyone else turned their attention to Amelia. "What was that all about?" Violet asked.

Amelia sighed. "Tomorrow's what would have been Derek and Addison's fifteenth wedding anniversary. My mom was never really Addie's biggest fan so, every year, since the divorce, she calls Derek up on their anniversary to tell him how proud she is of him, and how he made the right choice by divorcing Addison, and how much better off he is with Meredith."

"Wow," Sheldon breathed.

"Yeah," Amelia nodded. "She usually just calls him on the actual day of their anniversary, but fifteen years is a big one, so I guess she's starting early this year."

xxxxx

"Hey, Derek," Addison called out, as she jogged over to where Derek was standing on the beach. "You okay?"

"Fine," he lied.

"Here," she said, handing him the bottle of scotch in her hand. "I thought this might help."

He smiled and took a sip. "Thanks."

"Hey, look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you to answer the phone," Addison apologized.

"It's not your fault," Derek told her. "It's just, she does this every year…every freakin' year she calls me on what would be our anniversary and tells me how much better off I am without you."

"Well, your mother never did like me," Addison pointed out.

"It doesn't matter," Derek insisted, taking another sip of scotch. "Even if things between us didn't work out, we still spent a third of our lives together. You obviously meant a lot to me…you still mean a lot to me and, it's just, I dread that phone call every year."

"Well, I guess the joke's kind of on her," Addison chuckled, taking the bottle of scotch from Derek's hands, and taking a sip. "We never technically got divorced. Could you imagine telling your mother that?"

"Oh, that would just kill her," Derek laughed. Then growing serious, he met Addison's eyes. "I'm sorry she never liked you," he apologized. "That couldn't have been easy to live with for eleven years."

Addison shrugged. "Don't worry about it; she's entitled to her opinion. And, hey, at least she likes Meredith."

"She does," Derek nodded.

"So that's good," Addison said, taking another sip of scotch. "And don't worry about me; I mean, it's not like your mother and I will be crossing paths any time soon. The important thing is that she likes Meredith, right?"

Derek didn't respond.

"Addison," he said after a moment.

"What?"

"Will you spend tomorrow night with me?"

"Our anniversary?" Addison asked in surprise. "You want to spend our anniversary together?"

Derek gave her a soft smile. "I can't think of anyone else I'd rather spend it with."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thank you so much for all the nice feedback on the last chapter! :) Here's the next chapter – their anniversary. I hope you like it! Thanks so much for reading! :)

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><p>"You look nice," Derek complimented as Addison entered the living room wearing a short, sleeveless, navy blue silk dress, with a draping neckline.<p>

"Thanks," Addison smiled. She took in his pale blue, collared shirt and black blazer. "Are you wearing Armani?" she asked in surprise.

"I am," he answered.

"How very anti-wood-chopping fisherman of you," she teased. Then she gave him a warm smile. "You always looked good in Armani."

They arrived at the restaurant twenty minutes later – a fancy Italian place. "So," their waiter began, as he showed them to their table, "are you two celebrating a special occasion tonight?"

Derek and Addison exchanged an awkward, pain-filled glance. "It's our anniversary," Derek finally answered.

"Well, congratulations," their waiter smiled. "How many years?"

"Fifteen," Addison said uncomfortably.

Their waiter, who was completely oblivious to the tension hanging in the air, continued to grin widely. "Fifteen…wow. I just got married a year ago," he told them. "If my wife and I are half as happy as you two are, fifteen years from now, I'll consider myself very lucky."

Derek and Addison both smiled politely, avoiding eye contact with each other, praying that their waiter would stop talking and just seat them already. They got their wish and, a few minutes later, they were sitting at their table – he was drinking scotch; she was drinking a martini. Maybe it was the alcohol, but the tension that had been so palpable before began to melt away.

"You know, I thought this would be more awkward," Addison chuckled. "But something about being here with you tonight, I don't know, something about it, just feels-"

"Right," he finished for her.

"Yeah," she smiled, meeting Derek's eyes, feeling her heart flutter when he gave her a warm smile.

"Hey, you're wearing the earrings," Derek said suddenly. "The ones I got you for our fifth anniversary."

Addison smiled and reflexively brought her hand to her ear. "I can't believe you remembered."

"Remembered?" Derek laughed. "You don't know how many jewelry stores I went to trying to find the perfect present for you."

"Well, you did a good job," Addison complimented. "I loved them…I still love them."

"Hey, do you remember our fifth anniversary?" Derek asked, a slow smiled spreading across his face.

Addison nodded. "We had plans to go out to a fancy Italian restaurant…but I had to work late. And you, you put together this whole Italian dinner with wine and pizza from my favorite pizza place in New York-"

"Scalini's," Derek filled in. "Scalini's Pizzeria."

"Scalini's," Addison nodded. "And I remember, you got all dressed up, and I…I was still in scrubs because I had been in surgery all evening."

"Yeah, but I thought you looked beautiful," Derek said, giving Addison a soft smile.

Addison smiled self-consciously. "Hey, do you remember the flourless chocolate cake?" she asked, doing her best to break the romantic tension that was building…the romantic tension which shouldn't have been building…but which was none-the-less building between the two of them.

"How could I forget?" Derek asked with a grin. "That cake was amazing."

"They don't make cake like that on the west coast," Addison reflected. "Anyway, I remember that we ate our anniversary dinner in an on-call room, on the floor, and then we ended up having sex in-"

"Richard's office," Derek grinned.

Addison chuckled, but then grew serious. "Do you think he ever knew about that?"

Derek shrugged. "I don't know," he admitted. "But I do know that it was one of the best nights of my life."

"It was a good night," Addison agreed. "And it was so simple. I miss simple."

They sat there quietly for a moment, each sipping their drink, stealing glances at each other when they thought the other one wasn't watching.

"Addison?" Derek asked, finally breaking the silence.

"What?"

"Dance with me?"

Addison hesitated for a moment. "Are you sure?" she asked.

"Addison, it's our anniversary; I'm sure."

"Okay," she agreed, as he led her to the dance floor. She put her hand on Derek's shoulder and he placed his hand on the small of her back, pulling her in close, inhaling the familiar scent of her perfume. He couldn't help agreeing with Addison – something about them being together tonight just seemed right.

_Well, here we are again.  
>I guess it must be fate.<br>We've tried it on our own  
>But deep inside we've known<br>We'd be back to set things straight._

"I've always liked this song," Derek smiled.

"It's pretty old," Addison commented.

"Yeah, but it's classic. There's something to be said for that."

_I still remember when your kiss was so brand new.  
>Every memory repeats.<br>Every step I take retreats.  
>Every journey always brings me back to you.<em>

"Hey, Derek," Addison whispered, trying to ignore how good it felt to be in his arms again…how much she missed having his arms around her.

"Yes?" he asked softly.

"Thanks for asking me to spend tonight with you."

He smiled, and pulled her in closer. "Thanks for agreeing to spend tonight with me," he smiled, kissing her temple softly.

_After all the stops and starts_  
><em>We keep comin' back to these two hearts<em>  
><em>Two angels who've been rescued from the fall.<em>  
><em>After all that we've been through<em>  
><em>It all comes down to me and you.<em>  
><em>I guess it's meant to be, forever you and me, after all.<em>

They continued to dance in silence, simultaneously enjoying the feeling of being close to each other again, and pushing aside the guilt that came with these feelings.

"Hey, Addie," Derek said, finally breaking the silence.

"Yes, Derek?"

"Happy Anniversary."

Addison smiled. "Happy Anniversary, Derek."

xxxxx

They came home relatively early that evening. He wasn't tired, so he asked her if she wanted to watch a movie or something, but she declined – said she had something else to do. He didn't press her for details (as much as he wanted to) – just said goodnight to her, and made his way into the guest bedroom. After about a half hour of mindlessly flipping through the television channels, he remembered that he had a bottle of champagne chilling in the refrigerator. He began making his way into the kitchen, but stopped when he reached the living room. Addison was sitting on the couch in her pajamas, with a glass of red wine in her hand and a box of tissues on her lap, watching something he hadn't watched in years – their wedding video. He watched silently for a moment, as images of their family and friends flashed before him on the screen, and he felt a lump begin to build in his throat, as the camera cut to him and Addison dancing as newlyweds They looked so happy…so undeniably in love.

"It was a beautiful wedding," Derek smiled, as he sat down next to Addison on the couch.

Addison turned to face him. "Oh, um, sorry," she apologized, doing her best to blink back her tears. "Did I wake you?"

"No, I was up," Derek reassured her, resisting the urge to wrap his arms around her and comfort her. "Why are you watching our wedding video?" he asked, a slight smile coming to his face.

Addison blushed. "I don't know, call it masochistic, but I, I always watch our wedding video on our anniversary. I guess it's some kind of pathetic, messed up tradition that Sheldon or Violet or some other psychiatrist could probably analyze pretty easily, but I don't know, it's just something I do."

Derek nodded. "I get it."

Addison looked at him in surprise. "You do?"

"Sure," Derek smiled. "You know, I kind of have my own weird, messed up traditions too. That's why I came down here…to get my bottle of Cristal champagne."

"How's drinking a bottle of champagne a weird, messed up tradition?" Addison asked in confusion.

"Since the divorce…well, since the supposed divorce… I've drank a bottle of Cristal champagne every year on what would be our anniversary," Derek explained.

"Why? To celebrate your freedom from Satan?" Addison asked dryly.

"No," Derek said softly, meeting her eyes. "Because it's the type of champagne we drank on our wedding day."

Suddenly they were both moving in towards each other; all thoughts of Sam or Meredith or post-it marriages completely brushed aside. Addison wrapped her arms around Derek's neck, and he brushed his hand across her cheek, bringing her in closer. Their lips were nearly touching when, all of a sudden, his cell phone rang, ruining the moment. Derek, still a bit dazed, fumbled with his phone for a couple of seconds, and sighed when he saw the number.

"Aren't you going to get that?" Addison asked when Derek set the phone on the coffee table, unanswered.

Derek shrugged. "No. It's my mom. I don't feel like talking to her right now."

Addison smiled. "Thanks, Derek."

Derek nodded, waiting a beat before wrapping an arm around Addison and pulling her in closer to him, as they silently watched their wedding video together.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Thanks so much for the nice feedback on this story so far! I really appreciate it! I hope you enjoy the next chapter. Thank you so much for reading! :)

* * *

><p>Addison and Derek didn't see much of each other the day after their anniversary. Derek wondered if this had been by design. He and Addison had come dangerously close to kissing each other the night of their anniversary, so some space was probably a good thing. He spent the day touring L.A. He had tried to get in touch with Meredith, but he could only get her voicemail.<p>

When he arrived back at Addison's place, that evening, he walked into the living room to find Addison and Sam, dressed in pajamas, sitting together on the couch watching a movie. Oh great, Derek thought to himself dryly, it looks like Sam's gonna be spending the night. He knew he had no right to be jealous. After all, he had Meredith back in Seattle. But something about seeing Sam with Addison bothered him – brought out the petulant twelve-year-old boy in him.

"Hello, Addie. Hey, Sam," Derek grinned, as he walked over to the couch that they were sitting on, and sat down in between them. Derek chuckled, as he felt both Addison and Sam shift uncomfortably. "Well," he smirked, putting an arm around each of them. "Isn't this cozy?"

Addison rolled her eyes. "Seriously, Derek?"

Derek shrugged. "Seriously," he chuckled.

"Excuse me?" Sam cut in. "Would somebody mind telling me what's going on?"

"It's nothing," Derek and Addison answered together.

"So," Derek continued, reaching for the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table, "what are we watching?"

"_We_ are not watching anything," Addison told him. "Sam and I are watching _It's Complicated_."

"Oh, I love that movie," Derek grinned, taking a sip of Addison's wine.

"That's right, Derek," Addison muttered sarcastically. "Just make yourself at home."

"I am home," Derek smirked.

"Derek, for the thousandth time, you-"

"Well, I think I'm just going to leave you two to your movie," Derek interrupted, getting up from the couch. He drained the rest of Addison's wine, and smiled. "Have a good night, guys." And, with that, he made his way into the guest bedroom.

xxxxx

A couple hours later, Derek was woken up by the sound of arguing.

"What do you want me to do, Sam?" Addison's voice rang out. "He owns the house too. He came here for a divorce, and he'll be gone in a couple of days. We just need to make the best of it."

"I just feel like I'm always the one who has to make the sacrifices for this relationship," Sam's calm voice responded.

"Sam, I'm not getting into this with you again," Addison said in frustration. "I made sacrifices too. I lost my best friend in order to pursue this relationship, so don't you dare stand there and tell me that you're the only one making sacrifices."

"That's not the only sacrifice I'm talking about," Sam said smugly.

"Oh, good, are we going to have the baby argument again?" Addison asked sarcastically. "Because, really, it's been far too long since we've last argued about that. What's it been, three, maybe four days since we last had that argument?"

Derek swallowed hard at this. He knew that Sam and Addison were serious, but he had no idea that they were thinking about having a baby together.

"Addison, I just don't think you realize what you're asking of me," Sam persisted. "You know my feelings about having more children. You're putting me in an impossible position."

"And I don't think you realize what you're asking of me," Addison shot back. "I'm supposed to give up my dream of being a mother because you don't want more kids. That's not fair to me, Sam."

"I never asked you to do that, Addison," Sam reminded her. 'I'm just asking you to think about the sacrifices that you're asking me to make."

The argument went on like that for a while – Addison getting increasingly upset, Sam remaining strangely calm. Ultimately, no progress was made. Derek got the feeling that this was par for the course for them.

xxxxx

The next morning, when Addison entered the kitchen, Derek was already in there eating a bowl of cereal and drinking a cup of coffee. "Good morning," he greeted her.

"Hey," she said distractedly.

"Coffee?" he offered. "I'm sure you could use some."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Addison asked suspiciously.

"I, um, I didn't get very much sleep last night," Derek explained. "I figured you probably didn't either."

"You heard my argument with Sam?" Addison asked, massaging her temples with her fingers.

Derek shrugged. "I did. Look, Addison, if me being here is going to cause problems between you and Sam, I can leave. I can-"

"Don't worry about it," Addison interrupted. "Our argument about you being here was just a foil…just a way for us to transition into our bigger problems."

"You want kids?" Derek asked softly.

"I want kids," Addison nodded. "But Sam doesn't and, for whatever reason, we can never talk about it like adults. Our conversations always dissolve into circular arguments or sex or-"

"Whoa, that's more than I want to know," Derek said, holding up his hands.

"Sorry," Addison chuckled.

"Did Amelia tell you that our sister, Kathleen, is pregnant?" Derek asked, desperate to change the subject.

Addison's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "I had no idea," she confessed. "Wow. Isn't Kathleen, um…isn't she a little older than us?"

Derek nodded. "She and Jeremy have been trying to have kids for a long time now. They finally did IVF, and it worked. I mean, it's an extremely high-risk pregnancy, but we have Nancy keeping an eye on her. And she's seven months along, so-"

"That's a good sign," Addison finished for him.

"Exactly," Derek smiled, meeting Addison's eyes. Granted, they were talking about his sister, but he had forgotten how much he liked discussing medical cases with Addison.

"So, you and Meredith, do you guys want kids?" Addison asked. As happy as she was for Kathleen, she wasn't in the mood for hearing about miracle pregnancies right now.

Derek nodded. "We do."

"That's good," Addison said, giving him a weak smile. "It's nice when you and your significant other are on the same page."

"It is," Derek agreed, taking a sip of his coffee. "Hey, you know what Meredith and I aren't on the same page about?" Derek asked after a moment.

"What?"

Derek smiled. "Christmas. I love it. She…well, it's too bright and shiny for her."

"That seems like a pretty insignificant thing to disagree about," Addison commented.

"It is," Derek admitted. "But still, you and me, we always loved Christmas and, truth be told, I miss celebrating Christmas with someone who loves it as much as I do."

"What are you saying, Derek?" Addison asked.

"Addison, will you celebrate Christmas with me today?"

"It's the middle of May," Addison pointed out.

"Come on, you know what I mean."

"I have to work today," Addison sighed. "I've got a surgery scheduled for 3pm."

"That's okay," Derek assured her. "We can do something after that. Leave the planning to me."

Addison hesitated for a moment, and forced herself to meet Derek's pleading eyes. "Okay," she finally conceded. "One last Christmas together."

xxxxx

The surgery was a success. Both mother and baby had pulled through. Addison quickly scrubbed out and checked her phone. She had a text message from Derek.

_Hope the surgery went well. Meet me at Legends Bar & Restaurant when you get out. Derek._

Thirty minutes later, Addison walked into Legends. She went up to the bar, but didn't see Derek there.

"Hey, Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd," she heard someone behind her say with just a hint of flirtation in his voice.

The use of her married name caught her off guard. But she turned anyway, and saw Derek sitting at a bar-table, smiling.

"So, how'd the surgery go?" he asked, as she walked over to him.

She smiled. "It went well. It looks like both the mother and the baby are going to make it."

"Congratulations," he grinned.

"Thank you," she nodded. "What are you drinking?"

"It's hot buttered rum," he answered with a laugh. "It's delicious…and Dickensian."

"It's the middle of May," Addison chuckled.

"It's Christmas," Derek corrected her. "Besides, I ordered you one too," he said, pushing a drink towards her.

"Thanks," Addison smiled, sitting down next to him, and taking a sip of her drink.

"Merry Christmas, Addie."

"Merry Christmas, Derek."

They sat in comfortable silence, smiling at each other over their drinks, each silently reminding themselves that even though Christmas makes you want to be with people you love, they both had people that they loved – other people that they loved – waiting for them.

"Oh, wait, I almost forgot the best part," Derek said suddenly. "Here," he said, pushing a stack of catalogs over to Addison. "We need to do our Christmas shopping."

"Derek, these catalogs are almost a half a year old," Addison protested.

Derek shrugged. "So what? It's also the middle of May. Now, come on, what should we get for Amelia?" Derek asked, sliding his chair closer to Addison's so they could look at the catalog together.

They were so caught up in their 'holiday shopping,' that neither one of them noticed Charlotte and Cooper enter the bar. Cooper was about to go sit down at the bar, but Charlotte, stuck her hand out in front of him, forcing him to stop.

"Look at them," she whispered, pointing to where Addison and Derek were sitting. They were both laughing about something in the catalog that they were looking at. Charlotte watched closely as Derek wiped some of the foam from the hot buttered rum from Addison's upper lip. "They look…I don't know…they look-"

"Happy," Cooper supplied.

"Yeah," Charlotte nodded. "They really do."


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Thank you so much for your feedback on the last chapter! I'm really enjoying writing this story, and it makes me happy that you're liking it so far. I hope you like this next chapter. Thanks so much for reading! :)

* * *

><p>Addison rolled over in her bed and tiredly rubbed her eyes. She looked over at the clock on her nightstand. 3:33am – good, she still had time to sleep. She was about to close her eyes and go back to sleep when the door to her bedroom opened slightly. Derek was standing in her doorway in his pajamas.<p>

"Derek, what are you doing here?" she asked.

"I wanted to see you," he smiled.

She did her best to keep her own smile in check. "Why?"

"Because I want you," he said simply. "It's always been you, Addison."

"Derek."

"It's always been you," he repeated with a soft smile, moving towards her and joining her on the bed.

"Really?" she asked.

"Yes," he whispered, kissing her softly on the lips. "Really."

"I want you too, Derek," she smiled. "It's always been-"

But she was cut off by his lips against hers. She wrapped her arms loosely around his neck, raking her fingers through his sleep-tousled hair, as his kisses became more urgent and intense. After a couple of minutes of passionate kissing, he began tugging at her silky negligee and slipped it over her head. She quickly removed his t-shirt and began trailing light kisses across his chest, remembering how good it felt to feel his skin against hers.

"Addison, I need you," Derek whispered huskily, and Addison wasted no time removing the rest of their clothes. Derek flipped Addison on her back, looked down at her, and gave her a soft smile. "I love-"

But before he could get anymore out, Addison opened her eyes and sat straight up in bed. "Shit," she swore when she realized that it had just been a dream. She looked at the clock on her nightstand – 4:17am. Not as good as 3:33am, she thought to herself, but she could still get some sleep. But she couldn't fall back asleep. Her mind was racing. She couldn't _still_ have feelings for Derek. He was with Meredith; and she was with Sam. But that dream…as much as she wanted to, she couldn't just dismiss it. After a few more minutes of tossing and turning, Addison resolved herself to the fact that she wasn't going to be able to fall back asleep, so she figured that she might as well go downstairs, make herself a cup of coffee, and get ready for the day."

xxxxx

"Going down?"

"Excuse me?" Addison asked in surprise.

Sheldon chuckled. "Well, I'm assuming that you're not planning on spending the entire day in the elevator. I'm going downstairs to get some coffee. Are you going down as well?"

"Oh, um, I," Addison stuttered, before pushing the stop button on the elevator. "I need your advice, Sheldon."

"I thought our elevator therapy sessions had ended now that you're with Sam," Sheldon mused.

Addison shook her head. "Sheldon, I need your help," she pleaded. "I had a dream."

"So did Martin Luther King Jr., so you're in good company," Sheldon teased.

"Not the time for dad-jokes, Sheldon," Addison chided. "I had a dream about Derek."

"Oh, an erotic dream," Sheldon said knowingly.

"Well, not quite. I woke up before it got really good but, yes, it was headed in that direction."

"Okay, so what about this dream bothered you?" Sheldon asked.

Addison sighed. "Well, for starters, does this dream mean that I still have feelings for Derek? Because I can't. He's post-it married, and I have Sam. I mean, Derek and I have supposedly been divorced for over three years. Is it possible that I still have feelings for him after all this time? Have I really not moved on? Have I-"

"Addison," Sheldon interrupted. "Your dream could have nothing to do with Derek."

"Trust me, Sheldon, my dream was about Derek."

"That's not what I meant," Sheldon explained. "Sure, Derek may have been the man in your dream, but maybe, in dreaming about another man, you were subconsciously recognizing your dissatisfaction in your current relationship."

"My relationship with Sam?" Addison asked.

"Well, um, it doesn't take a brain surgeon to see that things between you and Sam aren't exactly stable," Sheldon explained uncomfortably.

"A brain surgeon?" Addison smirked. "Funny."

"Thanks."

"But now is not the time for puns; I need help, Sheldon."

"Hey, you're the one who has me trapped in an elevator and are soliciting my advice for free; you've got to put up with my puns."

"Fine," Addison sighed. "So what am I supposed to do?"

Sheldon shrugged. "Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"I wouldn't pay too much attention to the dream. It's just a dream, after all."

"So I'm just supposed to pretend it never happened?" Addison asked.

Sheldon shrugged. "You might want to be a little more critical of your relationships with Sam and Derek, but don't let this dream dictate your life."

Addison nodded. "Okay. Good. Thank you, Sheldon. This was helpful."

"I'm glad," Sheldon smiled. "Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to get some coffee."

xxxxx

"Hey," Addison smiled, as she walked through the front door of her house.

"Hey," Derek greeted her. He looked at his watch – 9:15 pm. "Long day?"

Addison nodded. "I was literally grabbing my bag to go home, when I got paged for an emergency surgery, which ended up taking nearly four hours."

"At St. Ambrose?" Derek asked.

Addison raised an eyebrow. "How'd you know that?"

"I checked it out today," Derek explained. "It's a nice hospital…impressive."

"It's no Seattle Grace," Addison laughed, "but I like it. It keeps me from getting bored over at the practice."

"So, did your patients make it?" Derek asked.

Addison sighed. "For now. Both mother and child were touch and go for a while, but they're fighters. They should pull through."

Derek smiled. "That's good."

"Did you make dinner?" Addison asked, suddenly aware of the delicious smell of Derek's homemade tomato sauce permeating throughout the house.

Derek nodded. "It's nothing fancy; just pasta."

"Hey, pasta's good," Addison smiled. "It's better than anything I could make. Did you eat yet?"

Derek shook his head. "I was waiting for you. Do you want a glass of wine or something?"

"That's okay," Addison said. "I think I'll just have water."

Derek nodded, went into the refrigerator, and returned with two bottles of water.

"You should have a drink if you want one," Addison told him. "Don't let me stop you."

"No one likes drinking alone," Derek chuckled, as he opened his bottle of water and took a sip.

"This pasta is really good," Addison complimented. "You know, I can't remember the last time we did this."

"Did what?" Derek asked.

"Had a meal together…after work," Addison said quietly.

"Is that what happened to us?" Derek asked gently. "Did we just stop making time for each other?"

Addison sighed. "I don't know. It's strange…I always thought that med school or residency would put the most strain on our relationship, but our problems started once we got successful…one we made it, career-wise."

"Maybe we fell victim to our own success," Derek suggested.

Addison raised her eyebrow in confusion.

"We got successful, you and me," Derek explained. "And I wouldn't take any of it back for even a second, but I don't know, I wanted more, and I kind of got the impression that being a successful surgeon was enough for you."

"What do you mean, you wanted more?" Addison asked.

"I wanted a family," Derek confessed. "But it never seemed like the right time. And I guess I kind of resented you…because you never really seemed affected. You seemed happy with our fancy New York lifestyle...and I, I wanted more than that. So I threw myself into my work so that nobody would see how unhappy I was, and I guess I kind of shut you out in the process."

"That's all you saw me as…a representation of your fancy New York lifestyle?" Addison asked, anger creeping into her voice.

"I never said it was fair," Derek admitted. "But, yes...towards the end, yes."

"You know, if you would have bothered to talk to me about it, you would have found out that I wanted a family with you too…desperately," Addison shot back. "But, towards the end of our marriage, you were never home, and I just figured that having children was the furthest thing from your mind."

"I wish you would have said something to me," Derek said quietly.

Addison nodded sadly. "You know, it's kind of like the Piña Colada song," she mused.

"You're comparing our relationship to the Piña Colada song?" Derek chuckled. "Come on, Addie, you're a double-board certified surgeon; you can do better than that."

"Hear me out," Addison insisted. "The man in the song was unhappy with his life…with his wife. So he responds to this personal ad that a woman posted in the paper, and he becomes infatuated with the woman who wrote the ad because she seems like his perfect match. And when he finally meets this woman…the personal ad woman…it turns out to be his wife. It turns out they wanted the same things all along."

"I just like the catchy chorus," Derek smirked.

"The chorus is catchy," Addison agreed. Small talk was easier, she decided. Unfortunately, Derek wasn't in the mood to make things easier on her.

"Do you think," he began, "if you and I would have talked about the things we wanted, back when we were in New York, do you think things would have turned out differently for us?"

Addison sighed. "I-"

But she was cut off by the sound of Derek's cell-phone ringing. "Sorry," Derek apologized, as he turned his attention to his phone. "Hi, Mom," he answered. "Wait, Mom, slow down. Mom, calm down."

Addison instinctively reached for Derek's hand, as a look of panic washed over his face.

"And there's nothing that Nancy can do to help her?" Derek asked. "Wait, what's Nancy doing at a medical conference in Oxford?" Derek demanded. "No, you're right, Mom, that's not the most productive question to be asking right now. Um, is Kathleen's doctor near you? Good. Can you put her on? I know I'm not an OB, Mom…just put her on."

Derek moved the phone away from his ear. "Addison," he choked out. "Kathleen collapsed. She was, um, she was unconscious for a while, and they don't know if the baby's going to make it. Can you…would you mind talking to her doctor? Maybe you can help."

Addison nodded. "Hel-hello," she said nervously into the phone, and listened while the doctor explained Kathleen's condition. "Okay, but she's conscious now?" Addison asked; the confidence had returned to her voice. "Okay, that's good. Look, you know as well as I do that, with Kathleen's heart rate and BP being unstable, it would very dangerous to her health to deliver the baby. But, based on what you're saying, the baby is going to need to come out, probably within the next twelve hours…so I'd push steroids to help develop the baby's lungs. Okay, good; call me if you have any questions," she said before handing the phone back the Derek. "The doctor said that your mom wants to speak to you again."

Derek nodded. "Hi, Mom. Okay, I'll call Amelia, and we'll fly out there as soon as we can. Tell Kathleen to hang in there. Okay. I love you too. Bye, Mom."

As soon has he hung up the phone, Derek's face crumpled, and tears pricked his eyes. Addison couldn't help wrapping her arms around him, doing her best to comfort him.

"What if they don't make it?" Derek choked out.

"They're gonna make it," Addison assured him, still holding him close. "Kathleen is conscious now, so that's a really good sign, and the doctors…they're going to get her heart rate and BP under control."

"But what about the baby?" Derek asked. "If the baby doesn't make it, it's going to destroy Kathleen. You don't know how much she wants this."

Addison nodded sympathetically. "What can I do, Derek? What can I do to help you?" she asked, running her hand through his hair.

"Come to Connecticut with me?" he mumbled into her shoulder. "You can save them…you're the best there is."

"I can't make any promises," Addison admitted. "I mean, I'll do my best to save them, but I can't make any promises." She could feel Derek's body shaking.

"Addie, I need you to be there with me," Derek choked out.

"Then I'll be there," Addison said softly.

"Thanks," Derek said quietly. "Can you call Amelia? I'm going to look up the next available flight."

"Hey, Derek," Addison began.

"Yeah?"

"My family has private planes all over the country. We have some in California. Let's just take one of them. It'll save us time. You call Amelia, and I'll organize our flight out."

"Thank you, Addison," Derek said gratefully. "I'd never be able to handle this without you."


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Thanks so much for all the nice feedback on this story so far! I love hearing what you think! Here's the next chapter. I hope you like it! Thank you for reading! :)

* * *

><p>Six hours later, Derek, Addison, and Amelia rushed into Connecticut General Hospital.<p>

"Mom says that everyone's on the third floor," Amelia informed Derek and Addison, as the three of them stepped into the elevator.

As soon as the elevator doors opened, they spotted Carolyn Shepherd and Kathleen's husband, Jeremy, sitting in the waiting room chairs, looking tired and very worried.

"How is she?" Derek asked in concern, as he ran over to where his mother and Jeremy were sitting. Carolyn stood up quickly and gave her son a hug.

"It's hard to tell," Carolyn said. "The doctors think that Kathleen's doing a little better. They're not so sure about the baby, though." Carolyn looked past her son, and did a double take as she watched Amelia and Addison approach her. "Amelia; thanks for coming," she greeted her daughter, giving her a hug. "Um, Addison, it's uh, it's uh…a surprise to see you here," Carolyn said awkwardly.

"Well, I wish I were here under better circumstances," Addison said politely, brushing aside Carolyn's clear hostility towards her. "I'm so sorry, Jeremy," she said, reaching down to pat Kathleen's husband's arm. "But, uh, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to see if I can find a doctor, so that I can consult Kathleen's charts. Maybe there's something I can do to help."

"Thank you, Addie," Derek smiled.

As soon as Addison was out of earshot, Carolyn turned to her children. "What were you two thinking bringing Addison here?"

"Mom, she's the best there is," Derek said with aggravation clear in his voice. "Don't you want the best for Kathleen?"

"There are plenty of competent doctors here," Carolyn insisted. "It wasn't necessary to fly Addison out here."

"Actually, she flew us out here," Amelia told her mother. "How do you think we got here so fast? And you know as well as anyone that Addison is ten times better than the best doctor they have here."

"Hey, Jeremy," Addison said, as she reentered the waiting room. "It looks like Kathleen's surgery can't wait. I'm going to need you to fill out some forms."

"Um, yeah, sure," Jeremy mumbled, as Addison handed him the papers. He looked up and met Addison's eyes. "Just promise me that you're going to do everything you can for them in there."

Addison nodded. "I promise," she said. "I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that Kathleen and your baby are okay."

"Sydney," Jeremy said quietly.

"Excuse me?" Addison asked.

"Sydney," Jeremy repeated. "Kathleen and I, we named the baby Sydney."

"That's a pretty name," Addison complimented. "I promise you, I'm going to do everything I can for Kathleen and Sydney."

Jeremy sighed heavily, as he watched Addison leave the waiting room and make her way to the OR. He was ripped from his thoughts when he felt a strong hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Derek standing next to him, doing his best to offer him a reassuring smile. "You, you think they're gonna be okay?" Jeremy asked his brother-in-law.

Derek sighed. "I don't know," he admitted. "But I feel a lot better knowing that Addison's in there with them."

Jeremy nodded. "Me too."

xxxxx

Two hours later, Addison reentered the waiting room.

"How is she? How are they?" Jeremy asked nervously.

"They're both fine," Addison smiled. "Sydney's beautiful. She looks just like Kathleen."

"And her heart and lungs, they're not underdeveloped?" Derek asked in concern.

"Her heart's strong," Addison reassured him. "Her lungs look good too; although we are running precautionary tests. She's little, but she's a fighter."

Derek, Amelia, Jeremy, and Carolyn all breathed a sigh of relief, and Jeremy pulled Addison into a tight hug. "Thank you," he whispered. "Thank you so much."

"You're welcome," Addison smiled.

"You know, Kathleen and I always liked you," Jeremy continued. "We always thought Derek was stupid to let you go."

Addison chuckled. "You may not want to publicize those opinions," she said, giving Jeremy a playful wink.

"So, can we go see them?" Jeremy asked.

"They're just cleaning Kathleen up," Addison said. "A nurse should come by in a couple of minutes to take you in."

"Okay," Jeremy smiled, as Addison began making her way out of the waiting room. "And thanks again."

Addison turned to face him. "You're welcome," she smiled.

Once she had left the waiting room, Addison quickly made her way into an empty exam room, sat down on the exam table, and breathed a sigh of relief. The surgery had been a success, but if was still stressful, none-the-less. And pretending to be completely unaffected by the weight of the situation had taken its toll on her. Over the years, Kathleen had become like a sister to Addison. Kathleen was a bridesmaid in her wedding; Addison and Derek had gone on countless double dates with Kathleen and Jeremy, over the years; and Kathleen was Derek's sister. Addison remembered how worried she was, a couple years ago, when it was Archer on the operating table. She knew that Derek had to have been feeling the exact same way that she had felt. And Derek had come through for her; she wanted to come through for him as well. Addison drew her knees into her chest and put her head in her hands, doing her best to finally relax. But she was interrupted by the sound of the exam room door opening. She quickly jumped off the table, expecting to find another doctor entering the exam room with a patient, but she breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Derek standing in the doorway.

"Hey," he said softly, making his way over to her.

"Hey," she smiled.

"You, you were a god, today, in that OR," he complimented, wrapping his arms around her waist. "You slew dragons, you walked on water, you…you were a god."

Addison chuckled. "Thanks. But I'm a woman, so slaying dragons and walking on water doesn't have quite the same effect that it has on a man."

Derek looked at her adoringly. "You were amazing," he whispered.

"Thank you," Addison smiled, lingering in Derek's embrace.

Derek gave her a soft smile, and began to gently trace the outside of her jaw line with his thumb. She looked into his piercing blue eyes and felt her heart flutter as he drew her in closer, softly molding his lips against hers. He tasted like coffee – unsurprising, considering the copious amount of caffeine he must have drank to stay awake as he waited for Kathleen and Sydney to come out of surgery. She loosely wrapped her arms around his neck, raking her fingers through his wavy hair, and he drew her in closer, leaving no room between them, as their kisses grew more intense and passionate.

They were so lost in each other, and so completely oblivious to everything around them, that neither noticed Carolyn Shepherd enter the room. Carolyn cleared her throat loudly, finally succeeding in catching their attention, and smirked as Addison and Derek quickly broke apart and looked at her in embarrassment.

"I just came in here to thank you, Addison," Carolyn began coolly. "But it seems like my son has already thanked you enough for the entire family, doesn't it?"

Derek turned to Addison, who was doing her best to appear unaffected by the entire situation. "Addison, would you mind giving me a minute alone with my mother?" he asked.

"Sure," Addison replied gratefully. "I should probably see if Sydney's results are back, anyway." And, with that, she quickly left the room.

"What the hell was that, Mom?" Derek demanded, once Addison had left.

"I should be asking you the very same thing," Carolyn retorted. "You're married. You're with Meredith. _She's_ the one. Getting involved with Addison…well, that's just playing with fire. You're just waiting to get burned."

"Mom," Derek interjected.

"Trust me, Derek. Addison's not right for you. She's a cheater. She always was a cheater…and now, she's turning you into one too. You're too good for that."

"Addison wasn't the only one who cheated, Mom."

"Yes, I know Mark was there too," Carolyn said, rolling her eyes.

"No, I cheated on her too," Derek explained. "We got back together, in Seattle, and I cheated on her…with Meredith. So, if you're going to look down on Addison for being a cheater, then you need to look down on me too."

"It's not just that, Derek," Carolyn explained. "It's just, you two didn't work together. You never did. You were just too different."

"Eleven-plus years suggests otherwise, don't you think?" Derek countered.

"Derek, I'm not the only one who feels this way."

"Oh, really?" Derek challenged. "Because Nancy always liked Addison. And Addison always got along with Kathleen and Jeremy. And Amelia…well, I think it's safe to say that-"

"Your father wouldn't have liked her," Carolyn interrupted.

"Leave Dad out of this!" Derek demanded angrily.

"It's true," Carolyn insisted.

"I told you to leave him out of this," Derek growled.

Carolyn shrugged. "He wouldn't have liked her."

Derek glared at his mother. "You're right," he said, his voice suddenly becoming very calm and composed. "Dad wouldn't have liked Addison. Addison's smart and she's kind and she's tough, and she's more of a sister to Amelia than any of her actual siblings are. And she saves babies for a living…not to mention, your granddaughter. So, you know what, you're right, Mom…Dad wouldn't have liked Addison. He would have loved her."


	8. Chapter 8

Thank you so much for your nice feedback on the last chapter! I really appreciate it! I hope you like this chapter. Thanks so much for reading! :)

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><p>After his make-out session with Addison and his fight with his mother, Derek needed to clear his head. He walked into the hospital gift shop, made a quick purchase, and nearly collided with Addison on his way out of the store.<p>

"Hey, sorry; are you okay?" he apologized.

"Fine," Addison smiled. She looked at the bouquet of pink and white roses in his hand. "Are you going to see Kathleen and Sydney?" she asked knowingly.

"Um, yeah, in a minute," Derek answered. "I, uh, I just need to take care of something first."

"Okay," Addison nodded, and went off to find Amelia. Derek waited for her to leave before exiting the hospital and hailing a cab.

Twenty minutes later, Derek was standing outside the gates of Crest Hill Cemetery. After a few minutes of searching, he found the grave that he had been looking for, and sat down in the grass next to the tombstone.

"Hey Bizzy," he said quietly. "I'm sorry I didn't come out here for your funeral, but, um, better late then never, I guess. I know you and Addison didn't have the best relationship, but I always felt that you and I got along pretty well. I always felt like you liked me. Hell, if I know you, you probably blamed Addison for the entire divorce. It wasn't only her fault, though; it just seems that way if you don't know the whole story."

"You know, I always remember you with a martini glass in your hand. I couldn't' bring martinis into the cemetery, but I did sneak in some vodka," Derek smiled. "Grey Goose," he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a few miniature bottles of vodka. "Oh, and I brought the roses for appearance's sake," he explained, laying the pink and white roses on Bizzy's grave. "Anyway," he continued, "my sister, Amelia, told me your whole story – she told me about Susan and the suicide and, well, I need some advice."

Derek sighed and took a sip of his vodka. "Addison and I are still married," he confessed. "Our divorce never went through. And I went out to California to get divorced from her but, I don't know, after spending the past few days with her, I don't know if I want to get divorced from her. It's complicated because I'm post-it married to Meredith…and she's an amazing woman, don't get me wrong, and I could see myself being very happy with her, but I don't know, spending time with Addison…that feels right too. And it's just, well, you…you spent your entire life settling for a marriage that worked, but it wasn't a marriage that you _really_ wanted. And I just, I just want to make sure that I don't make that mistake. And it's hard, you know, because I love Meredith and I love Addison…but I love them for very different reasons. With Meredith, things are simple. Sure, we fight…but we always make up. She lets me be her knight in shining whatever; she lets me rescue her. Addie…she'd kill me if I tried to rescue her. She's the one who rescues other people. She's stubborn like that…I think she gets it from you. With Addie, things aren't always simple. I'm not her knight in shining whatever; sometimes, with her, I'm not even a good guy. But, in a way, that's refreshing. I can be me. You know, like how with Susan, you weren't the Captain's wife or Archer and Addison's mother or the president of some charity organization or some other label that didn't quite fit. You could just be Bizzy. Well, that's how I feel with Addison. With Addison, I can just be Derek."

Derek shifted a little in the grass. "It's just, I don't know if Addison and I could work again. I mean, our marriage was bad towards the end. We got so busy, we didn't even have time to fight with each other; I hardly said three words to her when she came to Seattle to try to save our marriage; and we both cheated on each other. We're also both with other people right now. But being with her, this week, I don't know…it's made me appreciate her in a way that I never did when we were married…even when things were good between us."

Derek chuckled. "Did you know that when Addison first moved out to Seattle, she was probably the most hated person to ever walk the halls of Seattle Grace Hospital? I single-handedly turned all of the doctors against her…well, me and Meredith. The thing is, by the time Addison left, everyone's perception of her completely changed. Well, maybe not everyone's. I mean, Meredith and Cristina were never going to be close friends with her. But Callie and Bailey became friends with her; they both liked her a lot more than they ever liked me. And Mark…even though he says he's my best friend, when push comes to shove, I think he'd pick Addison over me every time. And then there's Alex Karev. Alex Karev, who before he met Addison, was going to specialize in plastics and couldn't give two damns about patient care; Alex Karev, who would have gotten chief resident hands down if Addison was still his teacher; Alex Karev, who, even after all this time, idolizes Addison whenever she comes back to Seattle to perform a surgery. It's crazy, Addison didn't even work at Seattle Grace for a very long time but, in the short time that she was there, she made a bigger impact on people that I've made on them the whole time I've been there. And I, it's just, I don't know why I didn't let myself see things like that back when we were married."

Derek ran his hand through his hair. "I don't know what I'm going to do Bizzy. I really don't. But, um, thanks for letting me talk to you. And I'm sorry if I bored you with stories about people that you don't know. But, yeah, this was helpful, you know? It let me clear my head, so thanks."

Derek stood up, wiped off the back of his jeans, and turned to walk away. After a few steps, he turned around and looked at Bizzy's tombstone one more time. "Rest in peace, Bizzy," he said softly. "And thank you."

xxxxx

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" Amelia asked Addison, as their cab stopped in front of the cemetery.

"That's okay," Addison smiled. "I'll only be a few minutes. You should wait in the cab."

"Okay," Amelia nodded, as Addison got out of the cab and walked into the cemetery.

As she made her way towards Bizzy's grave, Addison could tell that someone had been there recently. Probably The Captain, she thought to herself, or maybe even Archer. As she walked closer, she felt her breath catch in her throat and tears prick her eyes when she saw, resting on Bizzy's grave, a miniature bottle of Grey Goose vodka and a very familiar bouquet of pink and white roses.

xxxxx

When Addison returned to Connecticut General Hospital, she subtly poked her head into Kathleen's room, and felt like her heart was literally going to melt in her chest as she watched Derek hold his niece in his arms, a wide smile plastered on his face. She must have lingered in the doorway a little longer than she had intended to because Derek noticed her standing there.

"Come on in, Addie," he urged. "You've got to hold Sydney."

"I, uh," she hesitated, not wanting to intrude on a family moment.

"Get in here, Addison," Jeremy encouraged. "It's about time Sydney met her namesake."

"Her namesake?" Addison asked in confusion.

"Yeah," Kathleen smiled. "We named her Sydney Addison…after you."

"Wow, look…Kathleen, Jeremy…that's, that's really sweet, and I don't want to come off as ungrateful, because I'm not, but this is really isn't unnecessary and, um…are you sure that's the best idea?"

"Of course we're sure," Kathleen insisted. "Addison, you saved her life. You saved both of our lives."

"Besides," Jeremy cut in, "Sydney Addison has a nice flow to it. We both like it better than any of the other middle names we picked out for her."

"I think it's time for Sydney to meet her Aunt Addison," Derek smiled. "Officially, that is."

Addison raised an eyebrow at Derek's use of 'Aunt Addison,' and Kathleen, being a psychiatrist, picked up on it. "Come on, Addie," she smiled, as Derek placed Sydney in Addison's arms, "you'll always be Aunt Addison in our books."

Addison felt a rush of warmth come over her as she cradled Sydney in her arms. "She really is beautiful," she said softly.

Kathleen smiled. "So," she began, looking pointedly at Addison and Derek. "Where did you two run off to before?"

Derek cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Um, uh, what do you mean by that?"

Kathleen shrugged. "I don't know, it just seemed a little strange that both of you were MIA for a little while, and then, suddenly, you came back, Derek, and then, like twenty minutes later, Addison came back. It kind of reminds me of when you two used to try to sneakily have sex back in the old days. You two weren't having sex, were you?"

"No," Derek and Addison answered together. "I, uh, I just had something that I needed to take care of," Derek explained.

"I did too," Addison added, giving Derek a soft smile.

Kathleen raised an eyebrow. "It's just a little coincidental, that's all I'm saying."

"You know, you're awfully observant for a woman who was unconscious less than twenty-four hours ago," Derek commented.

Kathleen shrugged. "What can I say, I'm a therapist; I see what I see."

"I don't know about you," Addison murmured, "but all I can see, right now, is this precious little girl in my arms. She's absolutely adorable."

Derek moved over to where Addison was standing and gently placed his hand on Addison's shoulder, as he smiled adoringly at his niece. "She really is cute," he grinned. He turned his attention from his niece to Addison, and felt his breath catch in his throat as he took in the sense of longing in Addison's eyes as she held Sydney. Had that longing look always been there? Had he just never realized it before?

"Well, don't you two just look picture-perfect?" Carolyn observed smugly, as she and Amelia walked into the room. Derek quickly removed his hand from Addison's shoulder and put some space between them.

"Uh, have you held Sydney yet?" Addison asked Carolyn. She didn't want to give Sydney up, but Carolyn had been nothing but hostile towards her since she and Derek had arrived; and who could possibly be hostile when they were holding an adorable baby in their arms.

"I have," Carolyn smiled. "But I'll hold her again."

Addison nodded and carefully placed Sydney in Carolyn's outstretched arms.

"She's a beautiful baby," Carolyn said softly. Then looking at Kathleen and Jeremy, she asked, "Did you think about what I said, you know, about her middle name?"

If Carolyn noticed the tension in the air, she didn't let on.

"We thought about it, Mom," Kathleen said, "but we're happy with her middle name as is."

Carolyn nodded. "Well, whatever you think is best."

Derek glanced at Addison and then back at his mother. "Hey, Mom…we need to talk."

Addison shook her head firmly. "Derek, you really don't need to do this," she insisted.

"Yes, I do," Derek persisted.

Carolyn looked from Addison to Derek. "What do we need to talk about?"

"Hey, why don't I take Sydney from you first, Mom," Amelia suggested, gently taking her niece from her mother's arms. "Okay, Derek, now you can talk," she told her brother. "Good call breaking the news in the hospital, though. You know, just in case. Very smart."

"Amelia," Derek warned.

Kathleen looked at her brother and Addison quizzically. "Derek, what's going on?"

"Derek, this really isn't necessary," Addison pleaded.

"Yes it is." He turned his attention to Carolyn. "Mom, this needs to stop."

Carolyn looked at her son in confusion. "What needs to stop?"

"Look, it's no secret that you never liked Addison, and I should have said something to you about this a long time ago, but this has gone on long enough. Addison saved your granddaughter today. She's a good person…you've got to let yourself see that."

"Derek why is this so important to you?" Kathleen asked her brother. "I mean, yeah, it would have been great if Mom liked Addison, but you're acting as if you two are-"

"Still married," Derek finished. "We are."

"You two are still married?" Carolyn asked in astonishment.

Derek nodded.

"I, I don't understand," Carolyn stammered. "What about Meredith?"

"Meredith and I are, uh…also married," Derek explained uncomfortably.

"You have two wives?" Jeremy asked in surprised. "Why?"

"You know, Derek," Kathleen cut in, "this is classic mid-life crisis behavior. I always thought that Meredith was your mid-life crisis but, clearly, _this_ is. I can recommend a good therapist for you, back in Seattle."

"This isn't a mid-life crisis," Derek insisted. "Addison and I signed on the wrong lines when we signed our divorce papers, so our divorce never went through. We're in the process of fixing it."

"So you're staying with Meredith?" Carolyn asked.

"I," Derek hesitated.

"Derek," Carolyn pressed.

"I, uh," Derek stammered.

"He's staying with Meredith," Addison said gently.

"Addison," Derek hissed.

Addison looked at him in confusion. "Yes, Derek?"

"Can we, uh, can we talk outside for a minute…alone?"

Addison looked at him quizzically. "Um, yeah, sure. Excuse us," she said, as she exited the hospital room with Derek.

"What the hell was that all about?" Derek demanded, once they were alone.

"Derek, what are you talking about?"

"You telling my mother that I'm staying with Meredith; what were thinking?"

"I was thinking that your mother asked you a question, and you weren't answering her. And you _are_ staying with Meredith, so I don't see why you're getting all bent out of shape."

Derek sighed. "I don't know. It's just, I'm confused."

Addison put her hand on his shoulder reassuringly. "It's been a rough day," she said softly. "I'm confused too."

Derek ran his hand through his hair. "We kissed," he said after a moment. "Hell, we made out. I'm post-it married and you're in a relationship, and we made out. I don't know where we're supposed to go from here"

"We don't have to go anywhere from here," Addison shrugged. "We could, you know, just pretend it never happened."

"Do you really want that?" Derek challenged.

"No," Addison whispered.

"Me either. I don't think I can pretend it never happened," Derek admitted.

"Me neither," Addison sighed.

"But we don't really have a choice, right?" Derek asked. "I mean, we kissed, and it meant something, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm with Meredith and you're with Sam, so that kiss…it-"

"Was a lapse in judgment," Addison finished, doing her best to sound genuine. She certainly didn't view it that way.

"Right," Derek breathed. "A lapse in judgment." Except it _wasn't _a lapse in judgment, he thought to himself. And even though he was pretty sure that Addison didn't see it that way, he needed to make sure. "Addison," he began. But he was interrupted by Carolyn, who had now joined them in the hallway.

"Derek," Carolyn cut in, "would you mind giving me a moment alone with Addison?"

Derek looked at his mother warily. "Um, okay," he finally acquiesced. "I guess I'll get some coffee or something," he said, as he made his way down the hall, feeling disappointed with the way he and Addison had settled things.

Addison watched Derek's retreating form, and then turned her attention back to Carolyn. She was actually grateful that Carolyn had interrupted and unknowingly saved her from what was turning into a very uncomfortable conversation with Derek.

Carolyn cleared her throat uncomfortably. "I, uh, I never thanked you for saving Kathleen and Sydney…not really, at least, so, um, thank you, Addison."

"You're welcome," Addison smiled.

"And Derek's right; I was unfair to you. It's just, uh…you know that Derek basically grew up without his father. And, well, from an early age, Derek had no choice but to be the man of house. He looked out for his sisters…he looked out for me too. And it just never felt fair that he had to step up at such a young age…so I guess, I guess when he got married, I wanted to make sure that he found the right woman…you know, it was like my way of protecting him, or something. And it would have meant a lot to Derek's father to know that his son married the right woman."

Addison nodded. "So I wasn't the right woman?"

Carolyn sighed. "Truth be told, I never thought you were right for my son. But you spent the better part of eleven years making him happy…and I guess I didn't let myself see that." She paused for a moment, but then hesitantly continued. "Derek's father would have seen it, though. He would have liked you…a lot. I guess I didn't let myself see that either."

"You know, I really appreciate all this," Addison began, "but you don't need to set things right with me. I mean, your family will always be family to me, but Derek and I will be divorced…officially divorced, that is, by the end of the week. So this really isn't necessary."

"It's necessary," Carolyn insisted. "It's necessary because you're like another sister to Amelia. It's necessary because you saved my daughter and granddaughter today. And it's necessary because, even after all this time and after all you guys have been through, you still make Derek happy."

Addison swallowed the lump building in her throat. "Thank you," she smiled. "That means a lot." She thought the conversation was over but, apparently, Carolyn had more to say.

"You know, I've only spent about an hour with Meredith," Carolyn admitted.

Addison gave her a dry smile. "Apparently she wins people over quickly."

Carolyn sighed. "I told Derek that she was the one. I fed him some cliché, bullshit line about how Meredith doesn't see the world in black and white…I don't even know what I meant by it, to be honest. The truth is…I only liked her because she wasn't you."

Two steps forward, one step back, Addison thought to herself dryly.

"The thing is," Carolyn continued, "When I saw Derek with you, today, he looked happy…happier than he's looked in a long time…happier than he looked that time that I saw him with Meredith, so…" Carolyn trailed off.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not sure I'm following what you're saying," Addison admitted in confusion.

Carolyn looked at Addison, and gave her a genuine smile. "I'm saying that maybe your divorce didn't go through for a reason. Maybe you're the one after all."


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Thank you so much for all of the nice reviews on this story! I really appreciate them. I hope you like this chapter, and thanks so much for reading! :)

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><p>"Hey, Mark. What's up?" Derek answered into his phone.<p>

"Derek!" Mark exclaimed. "Are you alright? Where the hell have you been these last few days?"

"I'm fine, Mark," Derek reassured his friend. "And Meredith didn't tell you where I was?"

"I hate to break it to you, Derek, but Meredith and I don't exactly sit down together and talk about you…at least, not anymore."

"Oh," Derek said. "I just figured that with the way gossip travels at Seattle Grace-Mercy West, everyone would have known already."

"Known what?" Mark asked in frustration. "This is like pulling teeth, you know."

"I'm in California," Derek explained. "Addison and I are still married, so I-"

"You and Addison are still married?" Mark interrupted. "Shit, Derek! How is that even possible? You realize this makes you a polygamist, don't you?"

"Mark, calm down," Derek chuckled. "There was a mistake on our divorce papers that nobody ever caught so, yes, Addison and I are still married. And, legally, I'm not a polygamist. Technically, yes. But, legally, no…because post-it marriages are not recognized by law, so I'm fine."

"I'd hardly say you're fine," Mark said dryly. "So, what are you doing in California? Getting a divorce from Addison, right?"

"Well, that's why I came out here," Derek admitted.

"But," Mark trailed off knowingly.

"But nothing," Derek insisted. "Our lawyers are out of town, so it's taking a little longer than we expected."

"You could have come back to Seattle," Mark pointed out. "Why are you still in LA?"

"Things got busy," Derek defended. "I mean, Addie and I celebrated our anniversary, and then there was Addie's fight with Sam, and then there was Christmas-"

"Christmas?" Mark interrupted, a mixture of amusement and concern in his voice. "You do realize it's the middle of May, don't you?"

"Oh, I know," Derek assured his friend quickly. "But Addie and I love Christmas, so we celebrated it anyway. And then Addison and I had to rush to Connecticut. Kathleen had her baby."

"I thought you said she wasn't due for another two months or so," Mark responded.

"She wasn't," Derek confirmed. "But she collapsed, and was unconscious for a while, and, well, we weren't sure if she and the baby were going to make it. So Addie and I went out there and, um, Addison actually delivered the baby. A little girl…Sydney Addison."

"Kathleen and Jeremy named their daughter after your ex-wife?" Mark asked in surprise.

"Addie's not my ex-wife," Derek reminded his friend. "But, yes, they named her after Addison because, well, if Addison hadn't have been there…well, I, I don't know what would have happened. Besides, I think Sydney Addison sounds nice."

"Derek, this is all well and good," Mark cut in. "But when was the last time you spoke to Meredith?"

"Meredith?"

"Your _other_ wife," Mark reminded him.

"I know who Meredith is," Derek insisted angrily. "Well, I tried calling her the other day, but she wasn't there. I mean, I left her a voicemail, and she left me a couple of voicemails too. But I guess…I guess I haven't spoken to her since I arrived in L.A," he admitted guiltily. "Like I said, things here got really busy."

"You might want to call her," Mark suggested.

"I will," Derek promised.

"So it sounds like things with you and Addison are going well," Mark said.

"They are," Derek agreed. "Did you know that she's dating Sam Bennett…as in Sam Bennett from med school…as in Sam Bennett, Naomi's ex-husband?"

Mark sighed. "I heard a rumor to that extent."

"And you didn't think to tell me about it?" Derek asked.

"I didn't think you'd care," Mark admitted.

"I do care," Derek insisted.

"Derek?"

"Yes, Mark?"

"Is something going on between you and Addison?"

"No. No. Of course not. Look, for all intents and purposes, Meredith and I are married. And Addie, well, she's with Sam. I don't know, it's just nice to see her again. You know, spend some time with her. I've missed her."

"Derek, you're happy with Meredith," Mark reminded his friend. "You've always said that she was like coming up for fresh air."

Derek smiled. "I did say that." _But Addison_, he thought to himself…_Addison was intoxicating. She made him not want to come up for air._

"You still there?" Mark asked, ripping Derek from his thoughts.

"Uh, yeah, yeah, I'm here," Derek stammered. "It's just interesting, you know? When I used to look at Addison…back in Seattle, all I saw was an adulterous bitch. But, now, when I look at her, I don't see the cheating…I don't see the unhappy marriage we had back in New York. I find myself wondering what my life would be like if we were still together. And I know I have no right to wonder that…but we _are_ still married, so I find myself wondering about those types of things. You know, things like, where we would live…what our kids would look like...how-"

"But you were miserable back in New York," Mark reminded his friend. "And you fought really hard to be with Meredith. I think you're trying to rewrite your history with Addison. And look, man, I know it's easy to do. You two spend a couple of nice days together, she saves you're niece, you get jealous of her relationship with Sam; but, Derek, you need to take off the Addison goggles and realize that things between you and Addison ended for a reason."

"I don't know," Derek said thoughtfully. "Addison and I are kind of like the piña colada song. We wanted the same things all along; we just never talked about it or listened to each other."

"The piña colada song," Mark smirked. "Was that Addison's analogy or yours?"

"It was Addison's," Derek chuckled. "I teased her about it, but I think she actually has a point. The point is-"

"The point _is_," Mark interrupted, "that you're rewriting your history with Addison."

"I don't know," Derek admitted.

"Trust me on this one," Mark began. "Nobody is better at rewriting their history with Addison than I am."

"Seriously, Mark," Derek scoffed. "Addison and I were married for over eleven years. You and Addison…you were together for, what, a couple of months? You were her dirty mistress…so I don't see where you get off acting like you and Addison have some type of complicated history together."

"I guess she never told you about the abortion, then," Mark snapped.

"What abortion?" Derek asked in confusion.

"You know what, man, it doesn't matter," Mark backpedaled, wishing he could take his words back.

"What abortion?" Derek repeated more angrily.

"Let's just drop it," Mark pleaded.

"I will not drop it," Derek insisted. "What abortion?"

Mark sighed. "Addison aborted my child."

"What? When?" Derek demanded.

"It was back when she and I were still living in New York. You, you were in Seattle."

"You got Addison pregnant while she and I were still married?" Derek asked in astonishment.

"Look, Derek, it wasn't on purpose. I promise you that."

"You know, Addison has some nerve," Derek began angrily.

"Derek," Mark interrupted. "We were both at fault."

"Oh, I know that," Derek snapped. "And don't think I'm not angry at you…because I am. But, right now, I'm so furious with Addison, I can't even think about you."

"Derek, please don't do something stupid," Mark pleaded. But there was no response – Derek had hung up on him.

"Shit," Mark swore. He quickly dialed Addison's number, praying that she'd answer, but she didn't. He waited impatiently for her voicemail message to finish before leaving a message of his own. "Hey, Addison; it's Mark. Listen, I may have just done something stupid. Call me back, okay? Oh, and if Derek reaches you before this message does, well, then…my apologies in advance."

xxxxx

"Hey," Addison smiled, as Derek walked through the front door of her beach house.

Derek didn't respond – just glared at her angrily.

"Um, is everything okay?" Addison asked in concern.

Still no response; Derek brushed past her, and made his way into the guestroom.

"So, I was thinking," Addison continued, as she followed Derek into the guestroom, "how would you feel about ordering Chinese food tonight? Work was really hectic today and, I don't know about you, but I could use a relaxing evening."

Derek turned to face her. "Do whatever you want, Addison," he said dismissively.

"Hey, wait, what's this all about?" Addison asked, as she watched Derek begin to pack his things in his suitcase. "Are you leaving?"

"I am," Derek nodded. "I'll send you the divorce papers from Seattle. Try to sign on the right line this time," he muttered sarcastically.

"You know, if you actually told me what was bothering you, I might be able to help you," Addison said.

"Trust me, you've already done enough," Derek shot back.

"Okay, what the hell's your problem?" Addison demanded, blocking the door to the guest bedroom so that Derek couldn't leave.

"Get out of my way, Addison."

"No."

"Addison, I said get out of my way."

"And I said I'm not moving. Tell me what's wrong, Derek."

"You know, you have a lot of nerve. You really are unbelievable," Derek began angrily.

"Excuse me?" Addison asked in confusion.

"I don't know where you got off acting all smug and entitled that time, back in Seattle, when Meredith had appendicitis, and you accused us of having an adulterous lovechild together. You had no right to do that…because I spoke to Mark, today, and found out about a little secret that you two have been hiding."

Addison paled. "Mark told you about the abortion?" she choked out.

Derek nodded. "Christ, Addison! We were still married. You were pregnant with another man's child…Mark's child…while we were still married! And you _still_ had the nerve to look down on Meredith and me when it looked like I might have gotten her pregnant…which I didn't even do! That's unbelievable. The whole thing is just unbelievable!"

"Derek, what do want me to say?" Addison asked, blinking back tears. "Do you want me to apologize for setting a double standard? Because you're right, I had no right to-"

"I don't want anything from you, Addison," Derek insisted. "All I want is a divorce. I want a divorce, and I want never to see you again." And with that, he made his way out of the guestroom and walked out the front door of the house, slamming it hard behind him.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Thanks so much for the kind feedback on this story so far! I'm really enjoying writing it. I hope you like this chapter, and thank you so much for reading! :)

* * *

><p>Derek sat at the hotel bar. "Double scotch, single malt" he told the bartender, and weakly smiled his thanks when the man brought him his drink.<p>

"You know," the bartender began, "you look like you're in the mood to be alone with your thoughts."

Derek nodded. "I am."

"This might not be the place for you, then," the bartender told him.

"Anywhere with alcohol is the place for me," Derek responded glumly.

The bartender chuckled. "I just meant tonight's karaoke night and, well, nothing ruins a good drinking session like a couple of off-key renditions of 'Sweet Caroline.'"

Derek smiled. "I think I'll be okay."

"Suit yourself," the bartender grinned. "Let me know if you need anything."

Derek nodded and went back to his drinking, only dimly aware of the karaoke singing that was taking place around him. A young couple had just made their way to the microphone, and Derek watched them with mild interest. They looked pretty into each other. _I give their relationship another six months, tops_, Derek thought to himself dryly, as he turned his attention back to his scotch.

_I was tired of my lady;  
>We'd been together too long.<br>Like a worn-out recording  
>Of a favorite song.<em>

Derek looked up from his scotch, mildly amused that several of the people sitting around him were singing along with the couple. Man, he hated the young couple continued to sing, Derek looked around and realized that, now, practically everyone in the bar was singing along with them. In fact, he was pretty sure that he was the only one not singing – but he was used to that. And then the chorus hit him like a ton of bricks – a loud, somewhat melodious ton of bricks.

_If you like piña coladas  
>And getting caught in the rain,<br>If you're not into yoga  
>If you have half a brain,<br>If you like making love at midnight  
>In the dunes of the cape,<br>Then I'm the love that you've looked for  
>Write to me and escape.<em>

"Shit," he swore. "I didn't listen to her." He hadn't listened to Addison – just got mad and shut down…just like New York…just like Seattle. Even though he was pretty sure that there was nothing she could say that would make him feel better, he hadn't listened to her. And he owed her that, if nothing else. He signaled to the bartender so he could pay for his drink, and quickly made his way out of the bar, ignoring the dirty looks that he was receiving for leaving in the middle of the song. He didn't have time to care about karaoke etiquette right now; he had to talk to Addison.

He was surprised to find the front door to her house unlocked. She must have forgotten to lock it after he had stormed out. "Addison," he called out, but she didn't answer. He jogged up the stairs. "Addison?" – still nothing. "Shit," he muttered, as he began to get nervous. "Addison?" He was just about to call Sam or Violet when he noticed that the door to the back porch was slightly open. He quickly opened it, and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Addison out there, sitting on a lounge chair, staring out at the ocean.

"Hey," he said softly, trying to get her attention.

She turned to face him, and his heart broke as he took in her tear-stained face. Sure, he was still furious at her, but he had always hated seeing Addison cry. "Hey," she said quietly. "What are you doing here?"

He moved towards her and sat down on the lounge chair next to hers. "I shouldn't have stormed out," he apologized. "I should have let you explain…but I just got so angry, and I shut down. I tend to do that."

"I don't know if there's anything I can say that's going to make this better," Addison admitted.

"Probably not," Derek agreed sadly.

"I'm sorry I was condescending towards you and Meredith," Addison apologized. "I had absolutely no right to be."

Derek nodded. "Why'd you do it?" he asked. He took in Addison's confused expression. "Why'd you get the abortion?" he clarified.

He watched the tears begin to build in Addison's eyes, and wished that he could take back his words. "Hey, it's okay," he started, reaching out and touching her arm gently. "You don't have to tell me. It's none of my business."

But she shook her head. "It wasn't the right time for me to have a baby," she said simply. This time it was Addison, who watched confusion lace Derek's features. "I wasn't even gonna tell him," she confessed. "I wasn't gonna tell Mark, but then I did…tell him. And he was excited – uncharacteristically excited. He went out and bought this insane Yankees onesie and a calendar, and marked the due date. But he's Mark, and I caught him with someone else. And it wasn't the first time."

"So you got an abortion because Mark cheated on you?" Derek asked in confusion. That didn't sound like Addison at all.

Addison shook her head. "I got an abortion because, as much as I wanted a baby, it was the right decision for me at the time. I didn't want a baby with Mark. I didn't want a life with Mark. I wanted a life with you. I wanted a baby with you."

"Addison," Derek whispered.

"And I'm not saying that to make you feel guilty. I'm telling you this because you asked. It's just, I never thought I'd end up alone," Addison choked out, new tears building in her eyes.

"What are you talking about?" Derek asked. "You haven't ended up anywhere. And you definitely aren't alone. I mean, you've got Sam and everyone at the practice."

Addison nodded slightly. "It's just, I had all these plans about how my life would turn out and, well-"

"Hey, you know what Bizzy always used to say," Derek reminded her. "People plan and God laughs."

Addison gave him a weak smile. "Well, if that's the case, then God must be laughing pretty hard at me. I mean, here I was, married to a great guy, and I went and screwed it all up by sleeping with Mark. Then I aborted Mark's baby, only to find out that I can't have children anymore. Pretty freakin' hilarious, right?" She was trying to play it off as dry humor, but the tears in her eyes betrayed her best attempts.

"You can't have kids?" Derek asked softly, as he moved over to Addison's lounge chair and pulled her into his lap.

She shook her head. "I have a very, very low chance of ever being able to conceive. And I haven't exactly made having a baby a top priority lately. I mean, I'm dating a man who doesn't want anymore kids."

"What about what you want?" Derek asked gently.

"What I want," Addison chuckled dryly. "I want you to know that you have every right to be angry at me…well, not about the abortion. That's my business. But about everything else…you can be mad. And I can take it because, trust me, I'm already torturing myself more than you ever could. So, if you want to be angry with me…that's your right. I want you to know that. That's what I want."

"I'm not angry with you," Derek said, pulling Addison into a hug, and rubbing soft circles on her back. "Hurt, yes. But the thought of you pregnant with another man's child…it doesn't matter who he is…that thought is always going to hurt. And I guess that's my issue, so I'll get over it…eventually. You're going to be a really great mom, Addison, and I guess when Mark told me that you and him could have had a baby together…I guess I got a little jealous, you know, because you and me…we never had that chance."

Addison nodded. "I'm sorry you found out the way you did; although I guess there's really no good way to find out something like that."

"You know, in a way, I'm glad I found out," Derek admitted. "I mean, I obviously wish things hadn't happened the way they did, but…" he trailed off. "You know, I can't believe we talked about this like adults. I don't think we would have been able to talk about something like this back in New York or Seattle."

Addison nodded in agreement. "Hey, speaking of Seattle, when's your flight back?" she asked, moving out of Derek's arms so that she could meet his eyes.

Derek shrugged. "I never booked a flight back," he admitted. "I just said I was leaving…I couldn't follow through with it though."

Addison gave him a soft smile, and inwardly breathed a sigh of relief.

Derek returned her smile with a smile of his own. "Now, you were saying something about having Chinese food for dinner. Is that offer still on the table?"

Addison nodded. "I think that can be arranged."

"Good," Derek grinned. "And we should open a bottle of wine. It's been a rough couple of hours."

"Okay," Addison agreed. "Hey, Derek?" she began.

"Yes?"

"Thanks for coming back. Thanks for listening to me...even if it wasn't the easiest thing for you to listen to."

Derek smiled. "I'm sorry I stormed out before."

"You were angry," Addison shrugged. "You had every right to be angry."

"Yeah, but I should have stayed. I shouldn't have shut you out. And I'm not just talking about tonight. I shouldn't have shut you out back when we were married. God, I made so many mistakes when we were married."

Addison shook her head. "We both made mistakes," she said softly, taking Derek's hand in her own. "But I'm sure…I'm sure this next marriage will go better for you."

"Addison, I-" Derek stuttered, as he pulled Addison back into his lap, feeling a lump begin to build in his throat. He didn't feel like talking about his marriage to Meredith; he didn't feel like hearing more about Addison and Mark's past relationship; he didn't even want to begin to think about Addison's current relationship with Sam. He just wanted to be near Addison. So, he wrapped her in a tight hug and buried his head in her neck, deeply inhaling the scent of her Chanel No. 5 perfume, wishing his life wasn't so complicated.

xxxxx

Addison was in the middle of pouring wine when she heard the doorbell ring. "It's probably the Chinese delivery guy," she murmured to Derek, who was standing behind her with his arms wrapped around her waist. "Would you mind getting the door?"

"Sure," Derek agreed, making his way towards the door. He couldn't help smiling. He and Addison had made it through what could have been a disastrous fight, and things between them were going well. It was like they were in the makeup sex stage – well minus the sex part. They were both in relationships with other people, so sex wasn't exactly an option. But even though there wasn't sex, there was touching and occasional kissing, and Derek welcomed every second of it. Hell, they were technically still married, and they had just had one of the most intense conversations of his life, so he figured that a little touching and some occasional kissing was okay, even necessary, right now.

Still thinking about Addison, Derek smiled as he opened the door for the Chinese deliveryman. Only it wasn't the deliveryman. And Derek's smile quickly faded, and turned into a look of surprise. He felt his throat go dry as he tried to coax words out of his mouth.

"Meredith?"


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Thank you so much for your kind feedback on the last chapter! I love hearing what you think. I hope you like this chapter. Thanks so much for reading! :)

* * *

><p>"Meredith, wow, uh, what are you doing here?" Derek stammered.<p>

"I could ask you the same question," Meredith shot back. "I mean, I knew you were spending the week in LA, but I didn't realize that you were spending the week at Addison's place."

"It just sort of happened," Derek admitted. "So, wait, you never told me why you're here."

"I had a few days off," Meredith explained. "And I missed you."

"I missed you too," Derek smiled. _Shit! What am I going to do?_ he thought himself.

"Hey, Derek," Addison called out. "Is everything okay?"

"Uh, yeah, yeah, everything's fine," Derek said quickly. "It's just…um…Meredith's here. She came out here to visit me."

"Oh, well, that's great," Addison said with forced enthusiasm. "Really great." _Shit_, she thought to herself. _This isn't great; this isn't great at all._ "So, um, you two should go out…you know, hit the town," Addison suggested, awkwardly. "Derek, you should show Meredith LA."

"What about Chinese food?" Derek asked. "It should be here any minute, and I was kind of looking forward to it."

Addison forced a laugh. "It's just takeout. I'm sure you and Meredith can find a much better restaurant. And I'll call Sam over…maybe he'll want Chinese."

"Like hell I'm gonna let Sam eat my veggie dumplings," Derek declared vehemently.

"Um, okay, so what do you want to do?" Addison asked.

"Meredith and I will eat here with you," Derek said, as if it were the most obvious solution in the world.

"We will?" Meredith asked in surprise.

"You will?" Addison echoed.

"We will." Derek nodded. "I guess we can invite Sam if you want."

"Who's Sam?" Meredith asked.

"Addison's boyfriend," Derek explained.

"Oh, yeah, then let's definitely invite him," Meredith said quickly.

Twenty minutes later, Addison, Derek, Meredith, and Sam were sitting around the kitchen table with Chinese food and plenty of wine.

"So, this is nice," Derek said, doing his best to break the awkward silence.

"Sure," Meredith grumbled sarcastically under her breath.

"Very nice," Addison muttered. _What the hell was Derek thinking when he suggested that the four of them eat dinner together?_ she wondered to herself. "So, um, Meredith, how's work going?" Addison asked, doing her best to make small talk.

"Uh, good," Meredith answered. "Busy."

"These veggie dumplings are very good," Derek approved, trying to break yet another awkward silence. "Fantastic, even," he continued, his eyes widening in annoyance, as he watched Sam rub Addison's leg underneath the table. Derek shook his head angrily. _The guy may be Addison's boyfriend but, seriously, who the hell did he think he was?_

"I'm glad you like them," Addison said, forcing a smile, fighting the jealously that was flaring up in her as she watched Derek stroke Meredith's hand gently. _Don't they need their hands to eat?_ she wondered. _And why the hell am I jealous? I have Sam's hand on my leg; why do I care what Derek's doing?_

"Hey, Derek, would you mind passing me the wine?" Addison asked, smirking slightly. She knew that Derek would have to let go of Meredith's hand to pass her the wine bottle.

"Sure," Derek agreed. "Oh, and Sam, would you mind passing me the pork-fried rice?"

Everyone looked at Derek suspiciously. He still had a full serving of pork-fried rice on his plate.

Derek took in everyone's confused expressions and shrugged. "What? I want some more pork-fried rice," he said innocently, as Sam removed his hand from Addison's leg and passed him the pork-fried rice. _Two could play at this game_, he thought to himself.

Derek had barely taken the pork-fried rice from Sam when he noticed that Sam's hand had already made its way back to Addison's thigh. Derek rolled in eyes in frustration. "Sam, do you want some more wine?" he asked quickly.

"No, thanks, I'm okay," Sam told him.

"You should have some more wine," Derek insisted.

"But my glass is half full," Sam said.

"Or half empty," Derek countered. "Here. Have some more wine," he said, passing Sam the wine bottle.

Sam reluctantly poured himself some more wine, and Addison took the bottle from him, when he was finished, and topped off the glass that she had just poured for herself. "Hmm, looks like the bottle's empty," she observed. "I'll go get us another bottle. Derek, why don't you come with me…you can help me choose a bottle that Meredith likes."

"Sure," Derek nodded, as he and Addison made their way out of the kitchen, leaving Sam and Meredith alone.

"Okay, what the hell is going on?" Addison demanded, once she and Derek were alone.

"What do you mean?" Derek asked with feigned innocence.

"What do I mean?" Addison asked. "I mean, what was with you asking Sam to pass you the pork-fried rice when you already had some on your plate? And why were you pushing wine on Sam? I mean, I get that he's the only one at the table that you're not married to, but getting him drunk isn't-"

"Addison," Derek interrupted. "This has nothing to do with Sam. Well, not really, at least. Look, I know I have no right to be jealous or anything but, honestly, I'm having a little trouble keeping my dinner down with Sam feeling you up under the table."

"And how do you think I'm feeling watching you with Meredith?" Addison snapped back.

"Wait; are you jealous of me and Meredith?" Derek asked.

"What?" Addison asked in surprise. "I don't know…maybe…a little. But you're jealous of me and Sam," she retorted.

"Shit," Derek sighed, running his hand through his hair. "So, what does this mean?"

Addison shrugged. "We've been spending a lot of time together lately – not to mention, we _were_ married for over eleven years…well, technically, fifteen years. I guess it's only normal for us to feel protective over each other."

"That does seem pretty normal," Derek agreed. _What the hell_, he thought to himself; _this doesn't seem normal at all_. "So how are we going to get through this dinner?" he asked.

"Well, you could start by only using your hands for eating," Addison suggested.

"Fine," Derek agreed. "But the same rules apply to you and Sam."

"Okay," Addison agreed. "We should probably get back out there. We don't want Sam and Meredith to jump to the wrong conclusion, and think there's something going on between us."

"Ha, funny," Derek said, forcing a laugh.

But they both knew that Addison's attempt at humor really wasn't funny; what it was, was a little closer to the truth then either of them cared to admit.

xxxxx

"So, tell me again, why are we spending the night at Addison's place?" Meredith asked Derek, as they lay on the bed in the guestroom together.

"I already unpacked all of my things here," Derek explained. "It would a hassle to repack them and go to a hotel. Plus, Addison's place is a lot nicer than most of the hotels out here. Wait until you see the back porch."

"It sounds like you've really been making yourself at home here, this week, Derek," Meredith observed.

Derek shrugged. "I guess."

"You must have been lonely sleeping in this bed all by yourself, though," Meredith said flirtatiously.

Derek smiled. "I was."

"Well, we'll have plenty of time to use the bed for sleeping later," Meredith grinned. "But, right now, I've got a little something different in mind," she continued, as she removed her shirt.

"I, uh, I can't," Derek stammered. "Addison and I made a deal."

"Addison and you made a deal?" Meredith asked in confusion.

Derek nodded. "We don't want to both be having sex under the same roof…especially since we're still legally married to each other, so…"

"So you and Addison made a no sex agreement?" Meredith clarified.

"I guess you could call it that," Derek shrugged.

"And you _still_ wanted to stay here instead of going to a hotel…even after you and Addison made that deal."

"I don't know," Derek deflected. "I guess I wasn't really thinking. But, uh, I don't know about you, but I'm pretty exhausted from the day. I honestly wouldn't mind turning in early."

"Well, can I at least give you a good night kiss?" Meredith asked.

"I'd be hurt if you didn't," Derek smiled, as he climbed into bed next to Meredith and turned off the lights.

He was woken up, less than an hour later, by the sound of Meredith snoring. He hadn't brought his earplugs to LA, so there was no way for him to drown out the noise. After tossing and turning for a while, he decided that he wasn't going to be able to fall asleep any time soon, so he figured he might as well go out into the living room where it was quiet. He sat down on the couch and was about to reach for the remote, when he heard arguing coming from Addison's bedroom.

"What do you mean, you and Derek made an agreement not to have sex tonight?" Sam asked angrily. "What are we supposed to do, just go to bed?"

"Oh, I don't know," Addison retorted sarcastically. "Maybe we could _try_ to have an actual conversation with each other…something we don't seem to do very much of anymore."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sam asked.

Addison sighed. "Before we started dating, you and me…we could talk about anything. Now, it seems like all we do is argue. I mean, I can't remember the last time we sat down and had a real conversation."

"And you're blaming me for this?" Sam clarified.

"I'm not blaming you," Addison started. "But it just seems like you never really listen to me when I want to talk or when I'm upset about something."

"So you are blaming me," Sam assessed.

"I," Addison hesitated.

"Did you ever think that it might be your fault?" Sam challenged.

"Excuse me?" Addison asked in surprise.

Sam shrugged. "I'm just saying, you and Derek barely spoke towards the end of your marriage and, now, you're claiming that you and I don't have real conversations anymore. It seems to me like you're the common thread here, Addie."

"Get out," Addison said quietly.

"Excuse me?"

"I said, get out," Addison repeated.

"Addison, look," Sam tried to reason. "You know I didn't mean that. I-"

"Sam, please get out of my house," Addison demanded, jamming a hand on her hip.

"Now _you're_ the one who's shutting down conversation," Sam accused smugly. "And to be honest, I don't see why you're even giving Derek the time of day. I mean, why does he feel the need to spend the week out here anyway? He couldn't get divorced from you fast enough back when you lived in Seattle. Can't he just go back to his wife and stop complicating my life?"

"Did you seriously just make this about you, Sam?" Addison asked in shock.

"Well, it's partially about me," Sam defended.

"Do you realize that since Derek came out here, you never once asked me about how I felt about my divorce not going through? Did you ever think that it might be stressful on me or, I don't know, painful?"

"I thought you were over Derek. I thought we had a pretty good thing, Addie."

"I thought I was over Derek too," Addison admitted. "But we made out when we were in Connecticut. It was a lapse in judgment, and I'm sorry, Sam. I'm so sorry. But, I don't know…Derek being here…it's making question everything and, to be honest, I'm kind of a mess right now. And, Sam, you're a good man. You're way too good of a man to be brought down by me and my messy life."

"Are we breaking up?" Sam asked.

"No," Addison answered quickly. "I don't want to break up. I guess what I'm saying is just…I need my space tonight."

Sam nodded in understanding. "Did it mean anything?" he asked.

"What?"

"Your kiss with Derek," Sam clarified. "Did it mean anything?"

Addison sighed. "I spent a third of my life with him, Sam. How could it not mean something?"

Sam shrugged. "Sometimes it doesn't. Anyway, I think I need my space tonight too. I should go," he said before making his way off Addison's bed, through the living room, and out the front door.

Derek held his breath as he waited for the crying to start. But it didn't. Minutes passed but, to Derek, it felt like hours. He had to go check on Addison. He needed to make sure she was okay. He knocked softly on her bedroom door.

"I'm really not in the mood, Sam," Addison said tiredly as she opened the door. "Oh, sorry, I thought you were Sam," she apologized when she saw Derek standing in front of her.

Derek smirked. "Sorry to disappoint."

Addison sighed. "Let me guess, you heard the whole fight."

Derek looked at the floor guiltily. "I did."

"Did Meredith hear us arguing too?" Addison asked.

"No, she's asleep," Derek assured Addison.

"Good," Addison nodded.

"Do you, uh…do you want to sit outside in the living room with me?" Derek asked.

Addison looked at him skeptically.

"Meredith snores," Derek explained. "And I can't fall asleep. I could use some company, and it kind of sounds like you could use some company too."

Addison nodded. "Okay," she agreed.

"Can I ask you a question?" Derek began, once he and Addison were sitting on the couch together.

"I guess," Addison said hesitantly.

"Do you think that you're not good enough for Sam Bennett?"

"What?"

"Do you think that you're not good enough for Sam?" Derek repeated. "Because that's not true. That's note even close to true."

"I," Addison hesitated, refusing to meet Derek's eyes.

"Oh my goodness," Derek breathed. "You don't think you're good enough for Sam."

"So what if I don't?" Addison asked in exasperation. "He's a good man, and I-"

"You're an amazing woman," Derek interrupted. "And the fact that you think otherwise…" he trailed off sadly. "Addison, how could you be with someone who lets you think otherwise? How could you be with someone who makes you feel that way?"

"He's just such a good man," Addison repeated lamely.

"Yeah, he's _such a good man_ that he lets you take yourself for granted," Derek shot back sarcastically. "He's such a good man that being with him has made you forget how incredible you are."

"Derek, I," Addison began, tears brimming in her eyes. "What do you want from me, Derek? What do you want me to say?"

Derek looked at Addison sadly. "Look," he began gently, "I know our marriage wasn't perfect, Addison. Far from it. But you and me…we were equals. We were always were. And I really liked that about us. And I'm not telling you what to do or who to date, but you should be with someone who doesn't make you feel like you're less than him in some way."

Addison brushed away a tear that had managed to escape from her eye. "You and me…we were equals," she reflected. "I liked that about us too."

Derek nodded. "So why don't you think you're good enough for Sam?" he asked again. "And, I swear, if you tell me it's because he's a 'good man,' I'm going to take all the green juice from your refrigerator and dump it down the drain. I love that juice, and you're going to have to fight me for it tomorrow morning, but I'm so sick of hearing about what a 'good man' Sam is that I'm willing to make that sacrifice."

Addison sighed. "I don't know. I'm a cheater, and-"

"Okay, I'm going to stop you right there. I'm a cheater too. So are Mark, Archer and Karev. Hell, even Richard's a cheater."

"So is Charlotte," Addison added.

"Exactly," Derek smiled. "And you don't see Charlotte putting Cooper up on a pedestal. You don't see Richard putting Adele up on a pedestal. That's not how relationships work. You and me and Charlotte and Richard and, hell, even Mark, Karev, and Archer…we're not bad people. We made a mistake."

Addison nodded slowly. "It's just, with Sam-"

"No," Derek cut her off. "It doesn't matter who you're with; you're a good person regardless." He paused for a moment, debating whether or not to vocalize the thoughts that were running through his mind. "You know," he began hesitantly, "when we went to Connecticut, I visited Bizzy's grave; and do you know what I spent the majority of my time talking to her about?"

Addison shook her head. "What?"

"How incredible you are."

Addison smiled. "I knew you visited Bizzy's grave," she admitted. "I saw the flowers. The vodka was a nice touch."

"Bizzy would have liked it," Derek chuckled.

"She would have," Addison agreed.

"But we're straying from the point," Derek persisted. "You really are incredible, Addison. And I know you're used to hearing that you're an amazing doctor, but I don't think enough people recognize what a great person you are. I don't think you realize it either."

"Thanks, Derek," Addison smiled.

Derek shrugged. "I'm just telling you the truth."

Addison smiled and felt her heart flutter, when Derek returned her smile with a soft smile of his own. "Anyway," she sighed, doing her best to push her emotions aside. "I should get to bed. I have an early surgery tomorrow. And you should get back to Meredith."

Derek nodded. "Goodnight, Addie."

"Goodnight, Derek," Addison smiled. "And thanks…you know, for checking up on me."

Derek reached out and stroked her arm gently. "Anytime." He watched silently as she made her way back to her bedroom. "Hey, Addie," he called out suddenly.

Addison turned to face him. "What?"

"It wasn't a lapse in judgment. Not for me, anyway."

Addison looked at him in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"You keep saying that our kiss was a lapse in judgment," Derek explained. "I just…I wanted you to know that, for me, it wasn't."

Addison smiled. "It wasn't for me either. I never regretted it...not for a minute."

Derek gave her a soft smile. "Me either. Not for a second."


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Thank you so much for the kind feedback on this story, so far! I really appreciate it. I also want to thank everyone who read and reviewed my Valentine's Day stories – your reviews were really awesome! But back to this story – I hope you like this chapter. Thanks so much for reading! :)

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><p>"I need to talk to you," Derek said, as he entered the office kitchen, where Amelia, Charlotte, and Violet were eating breakfast.<p>

"All of us?" Violet asked suspiciously.

Derek looked up from the green juice that he was pouring for himself and nodded. "Yes, all of you."

"Where are your wives?" Amelia asked with a smirk.

Violet and Charlotte looked at each other in confusion. "Meredith's in LA," Derek explained. "She and I stayed at Addison's place last night."

"Awkward!" Amelia exclaimed. "Hey, did you and Addison both have sex under the same roof last night?"

"Amelia, filter," Derek said, rolling his eyes at his sister.

"You know, I think you've been spending too much time with Addie," Amelia commented. "You're kind of starting to sound like her."

"Anyway," Derek continued, ignoring Amelia's last comment, "Addie's at the hospital; she had an early surgery. And I'm meeting Meredith for breakfast in a little while. I told her I needed to stop by the practice first."

"Okay. So, what's this all about, then?" Amelia asked, raising an eyebrow. "Why do you need to talk to us?"

Derek sighed. "Addison and Sam. I was wondering-"

"You don't really have a right to wonder anymore, Derek," Amelia pointed out. "You made your choice. You chose Meredith. What Addison does and who she dates isn't really your concern anymore."

"But we're still technically married," Derek insisted. "And even if we weren't, we were married for over eleven years. I'm always going to care about her in some capacity."

"So what do you want to know about her and Sam?" Violet asked.

Derek hesitated for a moment. "Are they, you know, are they happy?"

Derek took in the three women's confused expressions. "What I mean is, I've watched them interact, and they seem happy enough but, I don't know, it feels like something's missing, you know? And they do fight a lot, and then there's the whole baby issue – so I guess I was just wondering if they're really happy together."

Amelia smiled. "I think it's nice that you still care about Addison. But Addison's an adult. You've got to let her make her own choices."

Violet nodded. "You're right to pick up on the fact that Addison and Sam argue a lot," she told Derek. "And the baby issue is an unresolved issue if I ever did see one…but I don't know, the arguing always seems to stop, and they always seem to work things out. But I don't know what goes on behind closed doors, so whether or not Addison and Sam are happy…well, that's a question that only they can answer."

"And even if they do fight a lot, at least they're vocalizing their issues," Amelia added. "No offense, but you and Addie weren't very good at that."

"_I _wasn't very good at that," Derek corrected his sister. "Addison tried to talk about our problems. I shut down. I'm working on it…believe me, I'm working on it."

"Well, don't beat yourself up over it," Amelia said. "You and Addison both made mistakes. You're in a good place now with Meredith. And Addison and Sam…well, I think they're happy."

"You know," Derek began, "I could be perfectly happy eating…oh, I don't know…Violet, what's your favorite type of cake?"

Violet shot Derek a quizzical look. "Carrot cake," she finally answered.

"Carrot cake, perfect," Derek smiled. "I could be perfectly happy spending the rest of my life eating carrot cake. I like cream cheese frosting. The walnuts along the side are good. There are little bits of carrot in the cake, so I can at least pretend that it's healthy."

"What's your point, Derek?" Amelia asked.

"My point is, I could be perfectly happy eating carrot cake for the rest of my life, but this type of happiness wouldn't even compare to the type of happiness that I would get from eating, oh, I don't know, say…a flourless chocolate cake from a New York City bakery."

"That's oddly specific," Amelia smirked.

Derek shrugged. "But you see my point," he insisted. "Carrot cake is good cake…really good cake…it's just not the best cake…it's not the right cake for me. I just want to make sure that Addison is flourless chocolate cake happy and not carrot cake happy."

"Maybe Addison prefers carrot cake," Amelia teased.

"Okay, this metaphor is falling apart fast," Violet chuckled. "Look, I have a patient, so I've gotta go."

"Okay," Derek nodded. "Thanks for your help."

"Anytime," Violet smiled.

Amelia looked at her watch. "I have surgery in two hours. I should probably get to the hospital," she said, as she left the office kitchen.

Once Violet and Amelia had exited the room, Derek looked at Charlotte pointedly.

"Okay, why are you lookin' at me like that?" Charlotte demanded. "It's makin' uncomfortable."

"Because you remained oddly quiet throughout our entire conversation," Derek answered.

Charlotte put her hands on her hips. "So?"

"I haven't known you very long, Charlotte," Derek began. "But I do know that you are not a quiet person. You have an opinion and a half about everything. So for you to sit there that whole time and not say anything…well, something's going on."

Charlotte gave Derek a wry smile. "You're more observant than I gave you credit for."

"A backhanded compliment," Derek chuckled. "I guess I'll take it. So, are you going to talk to me or what?"

"Look, Derek, I try not to get involved in other people's gossip. I'm a private person, and this is a gossipy bunch and, truth be told, I don't want them in my business. So, I try to keep out of theirs." Charlotte hesitated for a moment. "But I like you and, I might not always show it, but I like Addison too. She came through for me during a tough time…she's a good person."

Derek nodded, waiting for Charlotte to continue.

"You're right about Addison and Sam," Charlotte confessed. "There's somethin' missing from their relationship. And it might be that the baby issue is drivin' a wedge between them. Or it might be that he's her best friend's ex-husband and so, on some level, she'll always feel some type of guilt, or feel like she's second best…but I don't think that's it. Even if you took all of those issues and tossed them aside, somethin' still isn't right."

Derek looked at her curiously. "Why not?"

"I think you already answered that question," Charlotte told him. "They're each other's carrot cake."

"So my metaphor did work," Derek smiled.

"I'd wipe that smile off my face if I were you," Charlotte advised. "It's a good metaphor, but you're wastin' your time usin' it on me, Amelia, and Violet."

"What do mean by that?" Derek asked.

Charlotte shrugged. "All I'm sayin' is that it doesn't seem like you're too happy with the cake you're eatin' right now. It might be worth thinkin' about how your little cake metaphor relates to your life."

"You mean, Meredith?" Derek asked.

"Hey, I don't wanna sit here and gossip with ya," Charlotte said, putting her hands up in protest. "It just seems to me that Addison might not be the only one eatin' carrot cake."

xxxxx

"The guys invited you to hang out with them, tonight?" Addison asked Derek in surprise. She was sitting on the couch, in her living room, and Derek had come over to get his things and bring them to the hotel that he and Meredith were staying at.

"Don't be so shocked, Addie," Derek chuckled. "You and I both know how charming I am; are you really surprised that I won your friends over so quickly?"

"I guess not," Addison shrugged. "So, um, what's Meredith going to do while you're out with the guys? I mean, she's a nice enough person, so if she wants to hang out here, I guess-"

"Meredith's going to hang out in our hotel room," Derek reassured her.

"Oh thank goodness," Addison breathed. "Not that I don't like her, because I do; it's just, spending an evening alone with her would just be a little uncomfortable."

Derek nodded. "She told me as much."

"So you guys are staying in a hotel?" Addison asked, trying to conceal the disappointment in her voice. As much as she had given him a hard time in the beginning, she really liked having Derek around. She'd gotten used to living with him again.

"We are," Derek affirmed. "I mean, I love this place…probably a little too much. But Meredith said that staying here is kind of awkward for her, and I get that. Plus, I kind of get the feeling that Sam hasn't exactly loved having me around these past few days. So, it's probably for the best," he rationalized.

Addison nodded. "Yeah. I guess you're right."

They stared into each other's eyes, both struggling to find words. Finally, Derek broke the silence. "So, how do I look?" he asked teasingly.

Addison laughed. "It's a good thing you're just going out with the guys tonight, because you could definitely pick up wife number three if you wanted to."

"That good, huh?" Derek chuckled. "Anyway, I should probably go. I'll see you later," he said, placing a chaste kiss on her cheek.

Addison looked up at him and smiled. "Have fun."

Derek didn't know why but, in that moment, he was tempted to call Sam up and tell him that he couldn't go out tonight. All he really wanted to do was spend the night with Addison. It didn't even matter what they did…they didn't even have to do anything – he just wanted to be around her.

But he knew he couldn't do that. So he sighed, gave Addison a warm smile, and made his way out the door.

Ten minutes later, Derek arrived at the bar. As he walked in the door, he saw that Sam, Cooper, Pete, and Sheldon were already sitting at a table.

"Derek," Cooper motioned to him. "Over here."

"Hey," Derek greeted everyone.

"Hey," Cooper smiled. "Glad you could make it."

"Thanks for inviting me," Derek said.

"No problem," Cooper grinned. "It's been really great getting to know you this week. I don't know about these guys, but I'm gonna miss you when you're gone."

"You'll probably just miss the free lunches," Derek teased.

"Well, maybe," Cooper laughed. "But, seriously, I'm gonna miss you."

"Uh, you might want to go get a drink before Cooper starts to get all touchy-feely and emotional," Pete cut in.

"Hey, it's not my fault that you guys are all emotionally challenged." Cooper defended.

"I think that's my cue to get a drink," Derek announced.

"I'll come with you," Sam said, and the two men made their way to the bar.

"Hey, thanks again for inviting me out with you guys," Derek smiled, as he and Sam reached the bar.

"Don't thank me," Sam said simply. "It was Cooper's idea. Truth be told, I don't see why you're still hanging around here."

Derek looked at Sam quizzically. "I'm waiting for my lawyers to return," he answered.

"But you could do that from Seattle," Sam said. "And now that Meredith's here, it just doesn't make any sense for you to be here."

"Have I done something to you, Sam?" Derek asked.

Sam sighed. "It's just, you're always around. And I don't want you to hurt Addison again."

"Who says I'm going to hurt Addison?" Derek asked in confusion.

Sam looked at Derek pointedly. "You two have been spending a lot of time together, and I can feel her pulling away from me, and-"

"Did you ever think that Addison pulling away from you might have nothing to do with me?" Derek interrupted. "Did you ever think that Addison pulling away might be about you and Addison?"

Sam shook his head. "Addie told me about the kiss in Connecticut. She said it meant something to her. Did it mean anything to you?"

"Of course it meant something to me," Derek answered. "How could it not? I don't know about you, but when I kiss someone that I spent a third of my life with, it means something. I mean, are you telling me that you would feel nothing if you kissed Naomi?"

Derek watched Sam's demeanor falter briefly. If he wasn't a doctor, and accustomed to having patients lie to him day in and day out, he wouldn't have caught it…but he did. "What was that?" Derek asked.

"What was what?" Sam challenged, calm and composed.

"That look…it was a look of hesitation or discomfort or something," Derek explained.

Sam shrugged. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Spare me, Sam. I deal with patients who lie to me all the time. I can spot this kind of thing from a mile away. Something about the idea of you kissing Naomi made you uncomfortable."

Sam didn't answer – just kept a calm, calculated expression.

"Oh my goodness," Derek breathed. "You kissed Naomi, didn't you? You cheated on Addison."

"I," Sam hesitated.

"And she has no idea," Derek concluded. "You know how insecure she is about being a cheater, and you've gone all this time letting her put you up on a pedestal when you're no better than she is."

"Hey, who are you to talk?" Sam shot back. "Have you told Meredith that you kissed Addison when you two were in Connecticut?"

Derek didn't answer – just hung his head.

"Yeah, I didn't think so," Sam said smugly. "And, so what, I kissed my ex-wife? You _had sex_ with Meredith while you were _still married_ to Addison. Hell, Addison was in the same building…a few hundred yards away. So you have no right to talk down to me. What we did was completely different."

"You're right," Derek admitted.

"Thank you," Sam nodded.

"What we did was completely different. We both cheated on Addison…but I owned up to my infidelity. And I'll own up to it with Meredith too. But, you…you were unfaithful to Addison and you don't seem to see anything wrong with that. You don't even flinch when she tells you what a good man you are, and puts herself down for being a cheater. I knew my marriage was over when I cheated on Addison, but I still felt bad about cheating on her. I wish I could have taken it back. And you can say that you only kissed Naomi, and that that's a lot better than me having sex with Meredith but, you know what, I wouldn't trade places with you. I owned up to my infidelity. Addison and I have no secrets. So, yes, what we did was different, and you couldn't pay me enough money to be in your position. There's not enough money in the world."

Derek reached into his wallet and put enough money to cover his drink and Sam's drink on the bar. "Drinks are on me," he muttered. "Now, if you'll excuse me, there's a table full of people over there, who actually wanted me to be here tonight; I think I'm going to go spend some time with them."


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Thank you for your kind feedback on this story! Here's the next chapter; I hope you like it. Thanks so much for reading! :)

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><p>"Hey," Addison greeted Sam, as he walked into her bedroom. "How was your night with the guys?"<p>

"Fine," Sam answered. "But I'm happy to be here with you now," he smiled, as he joined Addison on the bed and began wrapping his arms around her waist. "Looks like we finally have the house to ourselves tonight," he grinned, pulling her in for a kiss.

"Hey, Sam," Addison began, pulling away from him slightly. "Listen, I've been thinking and I…we really need to talk."

"Addison, I've already talked enough for one night. Can't we do this some other time?" Sam bargained. "Besides, I can think of a lot of other things I'd rather use my mouth for."

"No, Sam, we really need to talk," Addison insisted.

Sam sighed heavily. "Okay. What do we need to talk about?"

"We need to talk about us," Addison said quietly. "You asked me last night if I was breaking up with you, and I said that I didn't want to break up. And I meant it. But, since then, I've been thinking about it and, as much as I've said that I could see myself having a future with you, I realized that it's not a future I'd be happy with. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think it would be best if we stopped seeing each other."

"Wow," Sam breathed. "Can I ask what prompted this, Addison? I mean, we were doing fine and then, suddenly, Derek shows up and announces that you two are still married and then, all of a sudden, you're breaking up with me…is this because of Derek?"

"This has nothing to do with Derek," Addison insisted. "You and me…we haven't been fine for a while, Sam. In fact, we haven't been fine for the majority of our relationship. We have different priorities, and neither of us is willing to compromise; that's not a healthy relationship. That's not a relationship I feel comfortable bringing a child into."

Sam sighed. "I get that we have different views on having a baby. It's just, I don't know, it seems a little coincidental that you're breaking up with me when Derek's in town. I get that you two have a history together, but Meredith's his present…Meredith's his future. If you can't see that, you're going to get hurt again."

"Sam, I told you that my decision to end our relationship has nothing to do with Derek. This is about me, Sam. I need a fresh start. I need to start going after the things that I want-"

"And I stand in your way?" Sam cut in.

Addison shook her head. "You don't stand in my way. I've been standing in my own way. I've been telling you for the longest time how much I want a baby, and you always find a way to deflect the conversation, and I've let you push the issue aside. I don't have unlimited time. I don't have unlimited chances. But I do have a chance to get a fresh start – and I'm gonna take it."

"So, we're breaking up because I don't want a baby?" Sam asked. "I told you I could try to love you and your baby."

Addison shook her head. "I don't want you to have to try. And we're not breaking up because I want a baby and you don't. I hadn't realized it before but, since I started dating you, I haven't felt like myself. I'm insecure and unconfident and always feeling like I'm not good enough."

"And that's my fault?" Sam asked. "You know that I love you. You know how great I think you are."

Addison smiled at him. "I know you love me," she said softly. "And, before we started dating, I loved being around you…I loved the way I felt when I was around you. But, once we got together, I don't know, everything changed. And, you know, I kept trying to convince myself that I was happy…I figured if I said it enough times, I'd believe it…but then, this week, I don't know, I remembered what it felt like to _really_ be happy…to really feel like myself again, and I miss that."

"You miss Derek," Sam said simply. "He's with Meredith."

Addison shook her head. "I miss being happy. I miss feeling like myself. And, yes, Derek makes me feel all of those things, but I'm not breaking up with you because of Derek. I'm doing this for me."

Sam sighed. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Addison nodded. "Yes, I want to do this. I need to do this, Sam. I came out to LA for a fresh start and, this time, I'm going to get it."

xxxxx

"Hey, guys, what's this?" Cooper asked, as he entered the practice kitchen, waving an envelope.

Addison, Charlotte, Sam, Violet, Pete, Sheldon, and Amelia looked at Cooper, looked at each other, and shrugged.

"I have no idea," Amelia admitted. "Why don't you open it and find out?"

Cooper turned the envelope over in his hands. "It says 'important' on it," he said, holding up the envelope so everyone else could get a better look. "How old do you think it is?"

"You could probably answer that if you opened it," Pete suggested.

Cooper nodded, and began opening the envelope. "I stopped by the front desk of the practice to grab a pen, and found the envelope wedged between some files," he explained.

"Okay, less chatting, more opening," Amelia demanded impatiently.

Cooper rolled his eyes at her, before removing the letter from the envelope. "Wow," he gasped as his eyes scanned over the letter.

"What is it?" Violet demanded impatiently.

"There's a big, formal banquet being held for several of the practices in the area and, apparently, our practice is being honored for our achievements in patient care," Cooper smiled.

"Wow, that's great," Sheldon grinned. "When's this banquet being held?"

Cooper's smile faded. "Tomorrow evening. Apparently, we were supposed to RSVP by last Wednesday."

"Sucks," Amelia muttered.

"Yeah, that would have been nice," Sheldon agreed.

"Hey, Coop," Charlotte cut in. "Who's throwin' the banquet?"

"Um, well, it looks like St. Ambrose is," Cooper said, a small smile playing on his face. He turned to his wife. "Do you think you might be able to pull a few strings and get us invited?" he asked coyly.

Charlotte smiled. "I'll see what I can do, but I like our odds. Come on, Coop; let's go to my office and make the call."

Addison watched as everyone began filing out of the kitchen, excitedly chattering about the banquet. Addison had a relatively easy morning ahead of her, and she decided that, after the events of last night, she deserved to relax a little bit. Sadly, for her, though, relaxation would have to come in the form of sitting alone in the kitchen with a cup of coffee, enjoying the peace and quiet. She'd been sitting there for a little while, dimly aware of her surroundings, when Derek entered the kitchen.

"Hey," he smiled.

"Oh, hey," she said, looking up from her coffee. "What are you doing here?"

Derek shrugged. "Meredith's still sleeping, and I wanted to get out for a while, so I figured I'd come here. I'm not interrupting anything am I?"

Addison shook her head. "No. So," she began, "how was your night, last night?"

"Not bad," Derek answered. "I really like your colleagues."

"I think they like you too," Addison smiled.

"So, how was your night?" Derek asked.

"It was fine," Addison answered, refusing to make eye contact.

"You really think I'm going to buy that?" Derek asked.

Addison shrugged.

"Addison, I've known you for over a third of my life. You really think I can't tell when you're lying to me?" Derek asked.

Addison sighed. "Okay, maybe it wasn't exactly fine."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Derek asked gently.

Addison shook her head. "No," she said. "Okay, kind of."

Derek chuckled. "Well, the floor's all yours."

"Sam and I broke up last night," Addison confessed.

"You and Sam broke up?" Derek asked, trying to keep the smile off his face. "Wow. Who broke up with who?"

"I broke up with him," Addison said.

Derek breathed a sigh of relief, glad that Addison was the one who initiated the breakup. "Are you okay?" he asked gently.

A slow smile spread across Addison's face. "You know, I think I am. I actually feel kind of relieved – like I can breathe again. I knew that my relationship with Sam hasn't been working for a while now, but I was too afraid to do anything about it, you know, because I didn't want to be alone, and Sam and I did have some good times together. But I'm glad I did it. I want to start going after the things that I want. I'm getting a fresh start."

Derek couldn't help smiling at the confidence in Addison's voice. She was back.

"Gosh, I just ended things with my boyfriend…and I'm not sad. I'm happy, Derek. Does that make me a horrible person?"

Derek shook his head and chuckled. "No. Not at all. You sound...great."

"I feel pretty great," Addison admitted. "I'm getting my fresh start."

Derek smiled. "Then we should celebrate," he insisted, going into the refrigerator, taking out a bottle of green juice, and pouring a glass for himself and Addison. "To your fresh start," he smiled, raising his glass of green juice.

"To my fresh start," Addison echoed, lightly tapping her glass against his.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Cooper asked.

"We're celebrating my fresh start," Addison smiled.

"With green juice?" Cooper smirked. "Don't most people celebrate with alcohol?"

"It's still early, and I have a surgery in a little while," Addison explained. "So, I'll pass on the alcohol."

Cooper nodded. "That makes sense." He turned to Derek. "What's your excuse?"

"I like green juice," Derek defended.

Cooper shook his head in disgust. "You guys really are made for each other," he muttered. Then, brightening, he added, "Well, I hope you're up for drinking alcohol tomorrow night. Charlotte just got off the phone with St. Ambrose, and we're all going to the banquet."

"What banquet?" Derek asked curiously.

"There's a big medical banquet tomorrow night, and our practice is receiving an award for outstanding patient care," Addison explained.

"Wow. Congrats," Derek smiled.

"Hey, Addison, how are you at giving speeches?" Cooper asked. "Because, as owner of the practice, you need to give one tomorrow."

"It's a little short notice," Addison started, "but I give a good speech."

Cooper looked at Derek for confirmation.

"She does," Derek agreed. "You're covered."

"I don't know," Cooper smirked, turning his attention towards Addison. "I bet that Derek's wedding vows were better than yours, Addie."

"They were," Derek laughed.

"That's only because you wrote me a song," Addison defended. "How was I supposed to beat that?"

"You could have done an interpretive dance," Cooper suggested.

"I don't think that would have been very romantic," Addison chuckled. "Besides, I'm pretty sure that my dance moves are more of the privacy of your own bedroom type of dance moves…not the in church, in front of all your family and friends, type of dance moves."

"I can attest to that," Derek laughed, taking a sip of his green juice.

"Oh, come on," Addison smiled, placing a hand on Derek's bicep. "My dance moves may not be the best, but my vows were good, right?"

Derek suddenly grew serious, and gave her a soft smile. "Your vows were perfect."

As much as he knew he should, Derek couldn't bring himself to break eye contact with Addison. But she wasn't breaking eye contact either – just staring at him lustfully, and driving him absolutely crazy. In that moment, he both loved and hated Cooper – because if Cooper hadn't of been there, he knew that he wouldn't have been able to stop himself from throwing Addison up onto the kitchen countertop and…well, after that, he'd probably have to apologize to Meredith for a lot more than just kissing Addison.

Derek and Addison both let out disappointed sighs when the buzzing of Derek's phone ripped them from their lustful haze and brought them back to reality. Still overcome with desire, Derek fumbled to remove his phone from his pocket, and frowned when he saw an unknown number.

"Derek Shepherd," he answered.

Cooper took this opportunity to leave, and Addison paled as she listened to Derek's end of the conversation.

"Oh, hi, Toby…you're back?" Derek asked in surprise. "Oh, that's okay – mistakes happen. You've drawn up the divorce papers? Already? Wow. And you can see us tomorrow? Uh, no, that should work. I'll have to talk to Addison, though, so I'll call you back in a little while, okay? Okay, thanks for calling. Bye."

"That was our divorce lawyer," Derek told Addison, stating the obvious. "He's back in town, and he felt so bad about making a mistake the first time, that he and his team already drew up new divorce papers for us."

Addison swallowed the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat. "Wow, that was fast," she choked out.

Derek nodded in agreement, as he did his best to wrap his head around what was happening. Just a few minutes ago, he was happy and laughing, and fantasizing about having sex with Addison on the kitchen countertop. Now, it felt like the world was crashing down on him.

"So, uh, when do you want to do this?" Addison asked hesitantly. "When do you want to sign?"

Derek sighed and ran his hand through his hair uncomfortably. "Toby said we can come in anytime tomorrow."

Addison felt herself cringe at this. If she and Derek signed tomorrow, he would have no reason to stay with her in LA, and she really didn't want him to leave. She knew that this divorce was supposed to be simple and uncomplicated; they both had lives that they needed to get back to – lives that didn't revolve around each other. But she couldn't help thinking that this divorce was going to be just as painful and heartbreaking for her as their supposed first divorce was – she couldn't help thinking that maybe she didn't want a divorce from Derek after all. But she couldn't tell him that. He had Meredith, and she was supposed to be getting her fresh start. So she met his eyes and sighed sadly. "Well, okay then," she said, trying her best to keep her voice even as possible. "Tomorrow it is."


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: I can't believe this story is drawing to a close. I'm thinking one more chapter after this one, and then probably an epilogue, because I really like epilogues. I hope you like this chapter (I really liked writing it)! And, as always, thank you so much for your kind feedback and for sticking with this story! :)

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><p>"Addie, I'm so sorry," Amelia called out, as she let herself into Addison's house and made her way towards Addison's bedroom. "I know we were supposed to hang out tonight and talk about Sam and Derek and whatever you wanted, but Charlotte's making me go out to dinner with Meredith…you know, because she's marrying my brother and all."<p>

Addison smiled. "That's okay, Amelia. Go."

"Are you sure you're not mad?" Amelia asked. "You don't feel like I'm cheating on you with Meredith, do you? I mean, she may be marrying into my family but, Addie, you're my sister. You're my family."

"It's fine," Addison assured Amelia. "I'm okay. I don't feel like you're cheating on me. You should definitely go."

"Okay," Amelia nodded. "Do you want me to-"

"Hey, Addie, is there any more green juice in your fridge?" Derek interrupted, as he walked into Addison's room.

"Derek," Amelia said in surprise. "I, uh…what are you doing here?"

Derek shrugged. "Addison and I are the only ones who didn't have plans tonight. You and Charlotte are going out to dinner with Meredith. Cooper invited Sam and Sheldon over to play videogames. Violet and Pete are spending the evening together – apparently, Charlotte recommended this new restaurant to them, so they're going there. Why shouldn't Addie and I hang out?"

"Well, isn't this all just a little too convenient," Amelia muttered under her breath?

"Excuse me?" Derek asked.

"Oh, um, nothing," Amelia stammered. "You two should hang out tonight," she recovered quickly. "I hope you have fun. Anyway, Charlotte's outside in the car waiting for me. We're gonna go pick up Meredith."

Addison smiled. "That sounds nice. I hope you have a good night."

"Thanks," Amelia grinned. "You too." And, with that, she made her way out of Addison's room and out of the house.

"Is Derek at Addison's place?" Charlotte asked Amelia, as Amelia opened the door to Charlotte's Mercedes, and slid into the passenger's seat.

"Yeah," Amelia nodded.

Charlotte smiled. "Good. Ready to go pick up Meredith?"

Amelia looked at Charlotte suspiciously, as everything began to click into place. "You set this up, didn't you?"

"Set what up?" Charlotte demanded. "Yeah, it was my idea to take Meredith out to dinner…but you knew that already."

Amelia shook her head. "That's not what I'm talking about, and you know it. You could care less about making sure that I get to know Meredith and, if I know you, you were probably the one who told Cooper to do something with Sam and Sheldon tonight."

"So what if I did? Sam just got out of a relationship," Charlotte defended. "I thought a night with the boys might be good for him."

"Spare me, Charlotte," Amelia smirked. "Since when did you take an interest in Violet and Pete's love life? I mean, you found them a freakin' restaurant to go to. You set this whole thing up."

Charlotte shrugged, and gave Amelia a sly smile. "I don't know what you're talking about."

xxxxx

"So," Derek smiled, "how do you want to spend our last evening as a married couple?"

Addison didn't answer right away. She could think of one way she wanted to spend the night…but they obviously couldn't do that. So, instead, she sighed, "I have that big banquet tomorrow, and I have no idea what I'm going to wear to it."

"So, wait, you want to spend our last evening together trying on dresses for me?" Derek asked in confusion. Admittedly, the idea didn't sound half bad, but he was hoping for something a little more intimate.

Addison shook her head. "No, I just need to decide what I'm going to wear tomorrow night before we can get our night started."

Derek nodded. "Okay. What can I do to help?"

"Nothing," Addison laughed, as she began rummaging through her closet. "I mean, no offense or anything, but you're not exactly my go-to person for this type of stuff."

"I could be," Derek insisted, as he joined Addison in her huge walk-in closet. "Okay, no I can't," he admitted. "Just being in this closet, surrounded by all of these clothes is overwhelming."

He was about to walk out of the closet, when something on the shelf, above where Addison's clothes were hanging, caught his eye. "Oh my goodness," he breathed, as he reached up and retrieved a very familiar bed sheet. "I can't believe you kept this."

Addison turned to see what Derek was talking about, and she swallowed hard when she noticed the sheets in his hand – the Italian sheets, with the paisley. "Yeah, well," she trailed off.

"My favorite sheets," Derek said quietly.

"I thought you liked the flannel ones," Addison chuckled, unsure if she should really be talking about the sheets that were on the bed the night that she and Mark slept together.

But Derek didn't seem phased by the comment. "No," he said softly. "These are my favorite sheets." He looked up and met Addison's eyes, almost afraid to ask the question on his mind. "Wh-what did you do with the flannel ones?"

Addison looked at the floor. "I threw them out," she said quietly.

Derek couldn't help smiling. "But you kept these."

Addison nodded. "I should probably get rid of them," she admitted. "I'm trying to get a fresh start, and I'm pretty sure that hanging onto my soon to be ex-husband's favorite sheets is probably the opposite of getting a fresh start."

"I'll take them," Derek said quickly.

Addison raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Are you sure that's a good idea, Derek? I mean, how do you think Meredith will feel about you holding onto the sheets that you and your ex-wife used to sleep on?"

"She probably won't love the idea," Derek admitted. "But it's not like I'm going to make her sleep on them. Besides, these are my favorite sheets."

"Well, if you want them, they're yours," Addison told him.

"Thanks," Derek smiled. He made his way out of the closet and sat down on Addison's bed, watching as Addison carefully looked through her designer clothes. He looked down at the sheets in his hands and smiled. A part of him wondered if he was being sappy and overly sentimental by hanging onto them, but he quickly squashed those thoughts. These were his favorite sheets, and he was getting divorced tomorrow – his feelings were perfectly justified.

"So, what'd you settle on?" Derek asked Addison, as she emerged from the closet. He knew it was odd, but he actually really wanted to know what she was planning on wearing tomorrow.

Addison smiled and held up a long, sleeveless, black dress, with a long slit up the side. "What do think?" she asked.

Derek gave her a soft smile. "You'll look beautiful in it."

Addison felt her cheeks grow warm at the compliment. "Thanks," she said quietly, hanging the dress back up before joining Derek on the bed. She looked down at the sheets in his hands and laughed. "Are you seriously going to take those sheets, Derek?"

Derek shrugged. "Sure. Why not? We had a lot of good times on these sheets," he said, with a hint of flirtation in his voice.

Addison knew that they were dancing a dangerous dance but, right now, she didn't care. "We did have a lot of good times on those sheets," she agreed, her voice dripping with seduction. She met his eyes and raised an eyebrow coquettishly.

Derek swallowed hard. As much as he wanted to continue their little flirtation, he knew he couldn't. Not like this. So, he did the only thing he could think of…he changed the subject. "Hey, Addie, what're those files?" he asked, pointing to a stack of papers on her nightstand.

Addison felt a pang of disappointment hit. It's not like she was really expecting anything to happen with Derek, but a girl could hope. She snapped out her haze and turned her attention to the question at hand. "Oh, um, they're nothing," she said quickly, avoiding Derek's eyes.

"Come on, Addie, I know they're not nothing," Derek pressed. "You can tell me. We've been married for fifteen years – you can tell me anything."

"You really want to know?" Addison asked warily.

Derek nodded.

Addison sighed. "I'm planning on doing IVF," she said, reaching for the papers on her nightstand. "These are the files of some possible sperm donors."

Derek swallowed hard. "Wow," he choked out.

"Now I bet you wish you hadn't asked," Addison assessed knowingly.

Derek shook his head. "No, I, uh, I was just surprised, that's all."

Addison nodded. "Well, fresh start, you know."

"Right," Derek breathed. Addison was right; he kind of wished he hadn't of asked. But he also found himself unable to change the subject. "So," he began, "any front-runners?"

Addison shrugged. "Not really," she admitted. "I don't know, nobody seems quite right."

"Well, let's take a look," Derek said, taking the files from Addison's hands.

"Derek, we don't have to do this," Addison reasoned. "I mean, it's kind of awkward, don't you think?"

"Maybe," Derek conceded. "But with all the things we've done together this week, looking at sperm donors together…I don't know, it doesn't seem _that_ awkward."

Addison still looked doubtful. "If you say so," she shrugged.

Derek chuckled as he began skimming the files in his hands. "These two are definitely not right," Derek said, handing Addison the files.

"Wait, why?" Addison asked in surprise. "They were actually two of my better choices. Look, this one here, he's a biologist. And, this other one, he's a professional artist."

"They're all wrong," Derek insisted. "I mean, come on, Addison…look at their hair."

"Wait, let me get this straight," Addison clarified. "You're discriminating against donors based on their hair?"

"Well, not just based on their hair," Derek chuckled. "But, come on, Addie, look the biologist. He has mad scientist hair. Could you imagine that type of hair on a child?"

"Derek, you know that type of stuff doesn't matter to me," Addison protested, doing her best not to laugh at the image that Derek had just put in her head.

"Of course it doesn't," Derek teased. He held up the picture of the artist. "And this guy…his hair's not much better. In fact, I think it's worse."

Addison studied the picture. "So, his hair's a little longer," she defended. "It kind of reminds me of Russell Crowe's hair. You know I've always had a thing for Russell Crowe."

Derek chuckled. "Addison, this guy does not have Russell Crowe hair." He took her hand and ran it through his own hair, and both did their best to ignore the tingles running down their spines. "This is Russell Crowe hair," he said softly. He looked at the donor's picture again and shook his head in amusement. "This guy looks like he has a family of crows living in his hair…he does not have Russell Crowe hair."

"Come on, Derek," Addison laughed, rolling her eyes.

"Hey, I'm just trying to be helpful," Derek insisted.

Addison looked at the two files again and frowned. She hated to admit it, but Derek had a point. "Hmm, maybe I'll just move these two into the maybe category," she conceded.

"Well, you can put these four in the no category," Derek said, handing Addison some more files. "Actually, you're right, none of these donors seem right," he admitted her, as he handed her the rest of the files.

"Told you," Addison sighed.

"Hey, don't stress out," Derek smiled, as he moved behind Addison on the bed, and gently began to massage her shoulders. "You're really tense," he commented, as he rubbed her shoulders a little harder.

"I'm a little stressed," Addison admitted, leaning back into Derek.

"It's been a crazy week," Derek said softly. "It's been a good week, but it's been crazy."

Addison nodded.

"So are you all ready for tomorrow?" Derek asked, as he continued to massage Addison's shoulders.

"You mean, for our divorce?" Addison asked quietly.

Derek shook his head. "I was talking about your big banquet and your speech," he said, pulling Addison into his arms. "I don't want to think about the divorce right now. Not tonight."

Addison shifted her body, so that her head was now resting on Derek's chest. "I guess, I'm ready," she said, looking up at him. "I mean, my speech isn't fully finished yet, but it's getting there."

"You're gonna be great," Derek smiled, wrapping his arms around Addison. "I just know it."

"You know," Addison began, stifling a yawn, "when you first came out here, I thought that spending an entire week with you was going to be unbearable. But I actually had a really good time. I had a better time this week then I've had in…I don't even know how long. It was really nice spending time with you, Derek."

"It really was an amazing week," Derek agreed. "I kind of don't want to leave."

"But you have to leave," Addison said tiredly. "Your life's in Seattle and you're getting married to Meredith."

Derek swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. "Yeah, I guess." He looked down at Addison, who was struggling to stay awake and, truth be told, he was a little tired too. So, he laid down on Addison's bed and pulled Addison back into his arms, figuring a quick nap couldn't hurt anyone.

Hours later, Derek was woken up by his phone vibrating in his pocket. He tiredly fumbled to retrieve it, and swallowed hard when he read the text message. _Meredith: It's one in the morning and you're not in our hotel room…Where are you?_

"Shit," Derek swore under his breath. He knew that he needed to go back to Meredith, but he also knew that he couldn't just leave Addison.

"Hey, Addie," Derek said softly, as he gently shook Addison awake. "Addie, I need you to wake up."

Addison opened her eyes and looked at Derek tiredly. "Derek?" she murmured sleepily. "What's wrong?"

"We fell asleep," Derek explained, gently running a hand through Addison's hair. "It's one in the morning, and Meredith came back to an empty hotel room."

"Oh shit," Addison swore. "She's not-"

"It'll be fine," Derek assured her. "I mean, nothing happened – we just fell asleep."

"Right," Addison agreed. "So, um, I guess that means you need to go."

Derek nodded sadly. "Hey, Addison," he began.

"Yeah?"

"I know that we agreed to sign the divorce papers separately, tomorrow, so I realize that tonight might be the last time that I get to see you before I leave so, uh, I just thought you should know…I want you to know that I've always loved you. I'll always love you. And me being with Meredith doesn't change that. Nothing will."

Addison swallowed hard, doing her best to fight the tears that were building in her eyes. "I'll always love you too," she said softly. How could she not? After all the years they'd spent together, and after everything they'd been through, he was her greatest love.

Derek smiled at her warmly. "Well, uh, I guess I should probably go," he said, leaning in and kissing her softly on the lips. "Goodbye, Addie."

Addison felt herself losing the battle she was fighting against her tears, as she watched Derek turn to walk out of her bedroom – and, once again, out of her life. "Hey, Derek," she called out suddenly.

Derek turned to face her. "Yes?" he asked hopefully.

Addison's heart sank in her chest as she looked at Derek and realized that this could be the last time that they'd be alone together for a long time – maybe forever.

"Addie?" Derek prodded lightly.

Addison met Derek's eyes, and a flurry of requests raced through her head. _Spend a few more minutes with me; spend the night with me; spend your life with me_. But she couldn't bring herself to say any of them aloud. So she said the only thing she could say: "Don't forget to take your sheets."


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: Well, here's the final chapter. I can't believe this story's coming to an end. But it's not quite finished; I decided to write an epilogue. I'm not quite ready to give this story up yet, and I think that there are still a couple of loose ends that need some tying up. Thank you so much for all of your kind feedback on this story – I really love hearing what you think! I hope you like this last chapter, and thanks so much for sticking with this story! :)

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><p>Addison decided that she had never hated the way that her name looked more than she did this morning. She had always thought that her name looked elegant and professional – a testament to who she was and everything she had accomplished. But, this morning, when she signed her name, on the correct line of her divorce papers, she hated the way her name looked. It just looked wrong.<p>

It was only a twenty-five minute drive from her lawyers' office to the practice, but the ride ended up taking twice as long, that morning. Twice, she had to pull off the road, so that she could break down and cry – something she almost never did. When she pulled into the practice's parking lot, she halfheartedly checked her appearance in her car's mirror, and silently gave thanks for waterproof mascara. Her eyes were puffy and red but, for the most part, her mascara hadn't streaked or smudged too badly, so she was still at least somewhat presentable for work.

She threw on her sunglasses (the best way to hide, red, puffy, teary eyes), and made her way out of her car and into the practice.

Violet was standing there waiting for her when she stepped out of the elevator. "Hey, Addison," Violet said gently. "How's it going?" But Addison's response caught her off guard.

"Don't even think about using that tone with me," Addison warned.

"Excuse me?" Violet asked in confusion.

"That sad, sympathetic tone – I don't want to hear it. I'm fine…I'm fine….I just, I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me. I knew this was coming, and I'm fine."

"Okay," Violet agreed. "Although, you may want to take off your sunglasses – we are inside."

Addison sighed before removing her sunglasses to reveal red, teary eyes – a surefire sign that she was anything but fine.

"Oh, Addison," Violet said softly. "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"

"No," Addison insisted vehemently. "I do not want to talk about it. In fact, I have something else…something very important that I _do_ want to talk to you about."

"Oh, okay," Violet nodded. "What do you want to talk about?"

"My hair," Addison said simply.

"Your hair?" Violet repeated in confusion.

"Yes," Addison nodded. "I think I need a change. So I was thinking about dying it…dark, maybe. Or cutting it short. Or-"

"What is it with you and Derek, and changing up your hair?" Violet cut in. "Is it a breakup thing or something? Is it a New York thing? Because I've never heard of anyone doing that."

"Wait, what are you talking about?" Addison asked.

"Derek came in here this morning, and he had his hair all slicked back with gel or something. It looked ridiculous. But he said he was trying something new with his hair. I mean, I eventually talked him out of it. He has very nice hair. So do you. So I'm going to give you the same advice I gave to him – don't do anything to your hair."

"Wait, why was Derek here this morning?" Addison asked in confusion.

Violet shrugged. "I don't know. He did spend a fair bit of time here this week; maybe he left something here."

Addison nodded. "I guess that makes-"

But she was cut off by a shriek from the kitchen. "Addison!" Cooper's voice rang out. "You have some serious explaining to do!"

Addison and Violet rushed off to the office kitchen. "Coop, is everything alright?" Violet asked in concern.

Cooper's, back was to them. He had the refrigerator open, and was shaking his head in disgust. "This is just gross," he muttered.

Addison rolled her eyes. "Cooper, if you're complaining about moldy food, I can assure you it's not mine. In fact, the last time there was a moldy sandwich in the refrigerator, it turned out to be yours, so I'd seriously encourage you to think long and hard before trying to pin whatever you're complaining about on me. Amelia's probably a better bet."

"No, this is definitely you," Cooper insisted, stepping out of the way so that Addison could see what he was talking about.

Addison looked in the refrigerator and felt her breath catch in her throat. The entire refrigerator was filled with bottles of green juice. There was nothing else in there – just bottles of green juice on every available surface of the refrigerator.

Violet looked over Addison's shoulder and gasped at the sight in front of her. "So that's why Derek was here this morning," she said softly, stating the obvious.

"Yeah," Addison breathed, unable to tear her eyes from the refrigerator.

"Addison," Violet said lightly, placing a hand on Addison's shoulder.

"No, I don't want to talk about it," Addison insisted. "I don't want to," she choked out, as tears sprang to her eyes. "It's just, it's not fair," she cried. "He's getting remarried…it's not fair. He can't do this to me," she sobbed. "He can't do something like this for me and get married to someone else."

By this time, the tears were flowing freely down Addison's face. Cooper quickly shut the refrigerator, and Violet pulled Addison into a hug. "Hey, it's okay, Addie," Violet whispered.

"It's not okay," Addison choked out tearfully.

Violet looked at Cooper helplessly, and Cooper wrapped his arms around Addison as well. "Yes it is," he said softly. "We're gonna help you get through this. I promise."

xxxxx

"Are you sure everything's okay, Derek?" Meredith asked, as they stood outside Derek and Addison's divorce lawyers' office.

"I'm sorry, what?" Derek asked distractedly.

"I just wanted to make sure you're okay," Meredith said gently. "I mean, you came back late last night, you've hardly eaten anything all day, and you barely said a word on the drive over here."

"I'm fine," Derek said as convincingly as he could.

"Derek," a trim, middle-aged man smiled, as he and Meredith walked into the office.

"Oh, hi Toby," Derek greeted his lawyer. "How was your vacation?"

"Fantastic," Toby grinned. "And I know I said this on the phone, but I really am sorry about the mistake on your divorce contract. Someone should have caught it."

"It's okay," Derek shrugged.

"Well, no need to prolong the inevitable," Toby said. "I have your divorce papers in my office… they're all ready. So if you and uh…" he trailed off, as he motioned towards Meredith.

"Meredith," Derek filled in. "She's my…uh…Meredith."

"Well, then," Toby smiled, "if you and Meredith follow me, we can get these papers signed."

Derek nodded, as he and Meredith followed Toby into his office.

"So," Toby chuckled, "are you and Addison on such bad terms that you couldn't even come in together to sign the papers?"

Derek shook his head. "Things between me and Addison are fine. I have a flight out to Seattle that leaves in a couple of hours, and Addison has this big banquet tonight so, logistically, it just made more sense for us to come and sign separately."

Toby nodded in understanding. "Well, that's good. And, hopefully, the fact that you have a plane to catch will make this a quicker process than it was this morning with Addison."

"What do mean?" Derek asked.

"It took her twenty minutes to sign the papers. She looked shaky and awful – worse than she did when you two filed for divorce the last time. I was going to ask her if she was okay, but I remembered her being the type of woman who doesn't like to ask for help, so I didn't want her to get offended or anything."

"That's Addison for you," Derek chuckled, a smile coming to his face.

"Yeah, well, here are the divorce papers. I triple checked; Addison signed on the correct line, so all you need to do is sign, and you're divorced."

"Right," Derek breathed. He looked down at the papers in front of him and felt a wave a nausea wash over him when he saw Addison's neat signature on her line. Nothing ever looked so wrong to him in his entire life. He swallowed the lump in his throat and pressed his pen to the paper, but his hand wouldn't move. He lifted the pen off the paper for a moment and took a deep breath, doing his best to compose himself. His eyes flickered between the pen in his hand and the divorce papers that he was supposed to sign, but every time he tried to sign, his hand began shaking and he felt lightheaded. "Hey, Toby," Derek choked out, lifting his pen from the paper, "could you just…would you mind giving me and Meredith a few minutes?"

Toby nodded. "Sure. Take all the time you need. I'll be outside waiting."

"Derek, what's going on?" Meredith asked, once Toby had left the room.

Derek took a deep breath. "Meredith," he began, "I don't know how to say this without sounding like a total ass, but I can't sign."

"What do you mean you can sign?" Meredith asked in disbelief.

"I'm in love with my wife."

"_I'm_ your wife," Meredith insisted angrily. "Does our post-it marriage mean nothing to you?"

"No, it means something to me…it does. It's just, I'm in love with Addison. And I don't want you to think that you didn't mean anything to me, because you did. I loved you, I really did…it's just, being here this week with Addison…it just-"

"I don't get it, Derek," Meredith interrupted, a mixture of hurt, anger, and shock in her voice. "You and I were in love. We had plans to start a family together, and now you want to get back together with Addison. You can't be serious. What's going on?"

Derek sighed. "You and me…we _were_ happy, and I would never, for one second, tell you otherwise, but it's not the same type of happiness that I feel when I'm with Addison. And I could sign these divorce papers, and you and I could go back to Seattle together, and we could get married and start a family, and we'd probably be very happy, but it wouldn't be the same for me. It wouldn't be the same type of happiness…the same type of love…that I'd feel if I did all these things with Addison. I'm so sorry Meredith," Derek apologized. "I know it must seem like I was leading you on, but I wasn't. I didn't realize how much I missed Addison…how much I still loved Addison…until I spent the week with her, and it wouldn't be fair to you or me or Addison if I go back to you and pretend to feel something I no longer do."

"So, just like that, you've fallen out of love with me, Derek?" Meredith sobbed, tears streaming down her face. "You spend a week with Addison, and you're in love with her?"

"Addison and I spent over a third of our lives together, so this week…it wasn't just a week…it was over a decade of memories and good time and bad times coming back to me. And I want those memories. I want more memories…I want more good time…and I'll even take the bad times that'll inevitably come along with the good times, but I want them…and I want them with Addison."

Derek sighed. He felt horrible for breaking Meredith's heart, and he knew that any explanation he tried to offer her would never be good enough. But he also knew that he was doing the right thing, because he knew that his life with Meredith would be just like the explanation he was giving her right now – good, but not good enough.

"You realize that Addison might not take you back," Meredith said tearfully. "And, if she doesn't and you come crawling back to me, I won't take you back either."

Derek nodded. "I know. But that's a chance I'm willing to take. It's a chance, I've gotta take. I'm so sorry, Meredith. You're an amazing woman…you're just…you're just not the right woman for me."

xxxxx

After breaking up with Meredith, Derek quickly changed into his Armani blazer and slacks, and rushed over to the banquet. When he arrived, Addison was on stage, finishing her speech. He felt his heart swell with pride, as he listened to her.

"Seaside Wellness is honored to receive recognition, tonight, for our achievements in patient care," Addison said into the microphone. "But this is just the beginning for us. Our practice is always striving to do better. So, we look at tonight as a new beginning…a fresh start…a chance to appreciate our accomplishments, but also to recognize that we can still do more. So, on behalf of Seaside Wellness, I'd like to thank you for this honor, and I'd like to invite you to join us as we embark on our fresh start to provide our patients with the best care possible. Thank you."

The room filled with applause, and Addison discretely looked over at the prominent members of the hospital board and smiled when she saw that they seemed pleased with her speech. Then she looked out into the crowd, in front of her, for familiar faces – her friends and colleagues. She saw Amelia first. It was hard to miss her in her bright red dress. Next to Amelia, Addison saw Sheldon, and next to him were Violet and Pete. And then, standing in between Pete and Cooper, and clapping louder than anyone, was Derek. Addison felt her breath catch in her throat, and she struggled against the tears that were building in her eyes, as she silently reminded herself that she was not wearing waterproof mascara tonight. She shakily made her way off the stage towards Derek, who was already approaching her. She was completely oblivious to everyone else in the room, and she had hardly noticed that music had started playing and, all around her, couples were dancing. All she could see right now was Derek walking towards her.

"Derek," Addison breathed. "What are you doing here?"

Derek smiled. "I had to see for myself."

Addison looked at him in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"That dress," Derek said softly. "I knew you'd look beautiful in it, but I had to see for myself. I was right."

Addison couldn't help smiling at Derek's words. But she quickly grew serious. "What are you really doing here Derek? Where's Meredith?"

Derek met Addison's eyes. "Meredith's on a plane back to Seattle. We ended things. I couldn't sign the divorce papers, Addie. I couldn't do it."

"I'm sorry, what?" Addison asked in confusion.

"I don't want a divorce, Addie. This week…us spending this week together…it made me realize how much I missed you…how much I still love you. Addison, it made me realize that you're the only woman I want to be married to…the only woman I want a family with…you're the only woman I want a future with. So please, Addie, stay married to me."

Addison looked at Derek with tears in her eyes. "I'm supposed to be getting my fresh start," she said softly.

Derek felt his heart sink in his chest. He wasn't expecting rejection. "Oh," he choked out in disappointment, swallowing the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. "I, uh, I didn't…I…I should probably go," he said sadly, as he turned to walk away.

Addison watched Derek's retreating form for a second. "Hey, Derek, wait," she called out.

Derek turned to look at her.

"I want you to be part of it."

"Excuse me?" Derek asked in confusion.

"My fresh start," Addison explained with a smile. "I want you to be part of it."

Derek couldn't help smiling, as he closed the space between them and crashed his lips against hers, not caring about where they were or who was watching them. "I love you, Addison," he whispered breathlessly when they broke apart.

"I love you too," she smiled. "So much."

Derek smiled at her words, and looked at her adoringly. "Dance with me?" he asked softly.

"Okay," Addison smiled, wrapping her arms around him, as they slowly swayed to the music.

_After all the stops and starts,  
>We keep coming back to these two hearts.<br>Two angels who've been rescued from the fall.  
>After all that we've been through<br>It all comes down to me and you.  
>I guess it's meant to be<br>Forever you and me, after all._

"It looks like we owe our lawyers a thank you," Derek chuckled.

"I guess we do," Addison said softly.

"You know, it's crazy…if they would have noticed that we had signed on the wrong lines, I never would have come out here…I never would have realized how much you still mean to me…and I wouldn't get to spend the rest of my life with you." Derek gave Addison a soft smile. "I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

"I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you too," Addison smiled, before kissing Derek softly on the lips. "You know, it's funny how life turns out sometimes," she murmured.

"It is," Derek agreed, pulling Addison in closer. "But, this time, I think it turned out exactly right."

Addison met her husband's eyes and smiled. "Yeah…I guess it did."

_I guess it's meant to be,  
>Forever you and me,<br>After all._


	16. Epilogue

A/N: Well, this is it – the epilogue. I can't believe this story is over; I'm going to miss it. I really loved writing this story, and I hope you enjoyed reading it. I also really appreciate all of the kind feedback on this story – you guys are the best! Anyway, I hope you like the epilogue, and thank you so much to everyone who read and stuck with this story! :)

* * *

><p><em>2 years later<em>

Derek looked around his and Addison's beach house and smiled. Their home was filled with family and friends – all of the people that he and Addison loved most had come together to celebrate their daughter's first birthday. And, from the looks of it, everyone seemed to be having a good time.

After he and Addison had decided to stay married, Derek moved out to L.A. It was never even a question that he would be the one to move for her – she owned the practice in L.A., and working in the practice would give them more time to focus on starting and raising a family together, something that they both desperately wanted.

Once Derek had moved his things from Seattle to L.A, he and Addison took a weeklong vacation to Cabo San Lucas. They figured there was no point in redoing their wedding, but neither could resist a second honeymoon, even if it was a little more low-key than their first one. Since they had already been together for over a third of their lives, and were both very stable career-wise, there was nothing standing in their way of starting a family together…nothing except Addison's supposed infertility. So, they agreed to enjoy their second honeymoon, and scheduled their first IVF treatment for a month and a half after they returned.

But a few days before they were scheduled to go in for IVF, Addison was plagued with frequent bouts of nausea and vomiting so, despite her protests, Derek convinced her to take a pregnancy test and, apparently, what happened in Cabo didn't stay in Cabo. Both were, of course, shocked and ecstatic about the news, excited to finally add the missing piece to their story.

Seven and a half months later, they welcomed their daughter, Seraphina Blake Shepherd into the world – a beautiful baby girl with her mother's hair and her father's piercing blue eyes. For Derek, it seemed like his daughter had only been born yesterday, and he couldn't believe that they were already celebrating Seraphina's first birthday. He scanned the room, and smiled when he saw Mark holding a very giggly Seraphina.

"You're really great with her," Derek smiled, as he walked over to join his best friend and his daughter.

"Thanks," Mark smiled. "I guess Sofia's given me some good practice."

Derek nodded. "Where is Sofia anyway?"

Mark shrugged. "She's around here somewhere. The last time I saw her, she was with Callie, Arizona, and Addie, so I'm not too worried. Besides, I've got my hands full with this little woman magnet over here," he said, gesturing to Seraphina. "Women love men with babies, you know."

"Please tell me you're not using my daughter to try to pick up women at a one-year-old's birthday party," Derek chuckled.

"Hey, I'm not getting any younger," Mark defended. "I pick up women wherever I can."

Derek shook his head, in disgusted amusement, but then grew serious. "Hey, Mark, I know that things between us are good and everything. I mean, they'd have to be...you're Seraphina's godfather…but, uh, I never did apologize for trivializing your relationship with Addison. I didn't know about your history. I-"

"Hey, it's okay, man," Mark interrupted. "I'm just happy that you and Addie got your chance, because you and Addie…and Seraphina…that's what's meant to be. That's what was always meant to be."

"Thanks, Mark," Derek smiled. "You really are a good best friend. I mean that."

"Thanks," Mark nodded. "But I need you to leave. There's a hot brunette checking me out, and you're kind of messing things up for me."

"Right," Derek chuckled. "Keep an eye on your Uncle Mark, Seraphina," he cooed to his daughter, as he left Mark to his flirtations.

Derek was making his way towards the kitchen, when his mother stopped him. "Derek, this is a very nice party," Carolyn complimented.

"Thanks mom," Derek smiled. "I'm glad you could make it out here."

Carolyn returned her son's smile. "There's something I want to give you," she said earnestly. "Well, actually, it's for Seraphina, but I want to give it to you."

"Sure," Derek nodded. "Why don't we go out onto the deck? It'll be quieter there."

"Okay," Carolyn agreed, as she followed her son outside to the back porch. "Wow, it's beautiful out here," Carolyn gasped, as she sat down on a lounge chair. "This view is amazing."

"I know," Derek agreed. "I love it out here."

Carolyn couldn't help smiling at how truly happy her son seemed.

"So, uh, you said you had something for me," Derek prodded.

"I do," Carolyn chuckled, as she reached into her bag, and pulled out a small box, wrapped in shiny silver wrapping paper. "For Seraphina, actually."

"Thanks, Mom," Derek smiled, accepting the gift.

"Well, open it," Carolyn insisted.

"Oh, okay," Derek nodded, as he carefully unwrapped the gift – a beautiful white gold diamond pendant necklace. But this wasn't just any diamond pendant necklace – the diamond was enormous and even Derek's untrained eye could tell that it was a very expensive, very high quality diamond.

"Mom, this is too much," Derek insisted. "Addison and I are already starting to worry that we're spoiling Seraphina. This gift is way too extravagant for a one-year-old…for most people, actually. I really appreciate this, Mom, but I don't think I can accept it."

"Of course you can accept it," Carolyn persisted. "You can and you will. It's exactly what your father would have wanted."

"I'm sorry, what?" Derek asked in confusion.

"Derek, sweetheart, don't you recognize the diamond?"

"I, uh," Derek stuttered, trying to buy himself some time.

Carolyn shook her head and smiled. "You gave me your father's ring back after you and Meredith broke up," she reminded her son. "And, then, when Seraphina was born, I went to the jeweler and asked him to take the diamond out of the ring and set it in a necklace instead…this necklace."

"You turned Dad's ring into a necklace?" Derek asked in disbelief. "Mom, what were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that it's what your father wanted all along."

"What are you talking about?" Derek asked.

Carolyn chuckled. "Derek, you know how sometimes you're not the best at listening to people?"

"What's your point?" Derek asked hesitantly.

"You get that from me," Carolyn sighed. "All these years…it took me all these years to finally figure out what your father meant when he told me that he wanted to give you his ring one day."

"I'm still not following," Derek admitted.

"Your father told me he wanted you to have it for the right girl. The right _girl_." Carolyn paused for a moment. "Addison's not a girl. I guess Meredith was closer, but she wasn't right for you. But, Derek, when your father was talking about the right girl, he wasn't talking about Addison or Meredith or any woman. He was talking about Seraphina. He would have wanted her to have it. This is exactly what he would have wanted."

Derek swallowed hard. "You think so?" he choked out.

"I know so," Carolyn nodded.

"I wish he was here for this," Derek said softly.

"Me too," Carolyn agreed. "He would have loved to be here. He'd be so proud of you…and the way that your life turned out. You were right, you know – he would have loved Addie. And Seraphina…well, she would just melt his heart. That's why you need to give her the necklace…so she has a way to remember him."

Derek smiled. "She's going to love the necklace…when she's older, of course," he added quickly, as he moved off his lounge chair to give his mother a hug. "Thanks, Mom."

"You're welcome, Derek."

After spending a couple more minutes talking to his mother outside, Derek went inside to put the necklace that Carolyn had gotten Seraphina away safely. As he put the necklace in his sock drawer, in his bedroom, Derek was reminded of a plan that he had come up with earlier in the day, before the guests arrived. A quick glance at his watch made him realize that it was almost time to put his plan into action.

He made his way out into the living room, and spotted Addison talking to Callie, Richard, Charlotte, and Cooper. He politely said hello to them before pulling Addison aside and whispering into her ear, "Meet me in our bedroom in five minutes…no later."

"Derek," Addison chided. "We have a houseful of guests. Now really isn't the time for that."

Derek chuckled. "I like the way you think," he smirked. "But I had something else in mind. Meet me in the bedroom in five minutes, and bring Seraphina."

"Okay," Addison agreed, as she watched Derek head in the direction of their bedroom, before she walked over to Pete, who was holding Seraphina, and took her daughter from him.

When she walked into the bedroom, five minutes later, she found Derek, sitting on their bed, and there were two glasses of champagne and bottle with organic apple juice sitting on the nightstand.

"Derek, what's this all about?" Addison asked in confusion, as she and Seraphina joined him on the bed.

Derek smiled, as he handed Addison a glass of champagne, and checked his watch. "Not quite yet," he said quietly.

"Derek what's going on?" Addison asked, as Derek continued to stare at his watch.

Derek looked up at Addison and smiled. "Do you know what time it is?" he asked.

"I'm not wearing a watch," she admitted.

"It's 3:35," Derek smiled, raising his glass of champagne, as Addison let out a small gasp. "Seraphina was born exactly one year ago, today, to the minute." Derek lightly tapped his champagne flute against Addison's. "Happy Birthday, Seraphina," he grinned.

"Happy Birthday, Seraphina," Addison smiled, as small tears formed in her eyes.

Derek handed Seraphina her bottle of apple juice, and he and Addison lightly tapped their champagne flutes against her bottle. "Happy first birthday, sweetie," Derek smiled, kissing his daughter on the forehead.

As they sat together on their bed, sipping their champagne, while their daughter drank her apple juice, Derek and Addison both knew that they should get back to their guests…back to the party that they were hosting. But neither could bring themselves to leave their bedroom.

"We should do this every year," Derek smiled.

"What, throw a big party and then completely abandon our guests so that we can be alone with each other and our daughter?" Addison chuckled.

"No," Derek laughed. "We should drink a glass of champagne together every year on Seraphina's birthday." Derek turned his attention to his daughter. "And you can drink apple juice," he smiled, as he cuddled Seraphina closely against his chest. "Or maybe next year we'll get you some sparkling apple cider. How does that sound?"

"Next year?" Addison laughed. "You're already thinking about next year?"

Derek chuckled. "I guess I am."

Addison shook her head in amusement before leaning in and kissing Derek softly on the lips. "I love you, Derek," she murmured when they broke apart.

"I love you too," he said softly. Then, turning his attention to Seraphina, he grinned widely. "And we both love you, birthday girl."

"Speaking of which, we probably should get back to her party," Addison chuckled, gently placing a kiss on Seraphina's forehead. "After all, we are hosting it."

"I guess you're right," Derek conceded. "But I'd rather just hang out here with you and Seraphina."

Addison smiled. "Me too," she admitted. "But we'll have some time for that later."

Derek gave Addison a quick kiss on the lips and smiled. "We have more than that," he said softly. "We have the rest of our lives."

_xxxxx_


End file.
